Santas, Bananas and Sex

Sometimes you have to get a little outside your comfort zone to find stuff to keep folks entertained. Since my comfort zone actually has its own zip code I needed to do some traveling for you kids today. But, I assure you, it’s been worth it. I started off my day by finding the International Air Sex Championships. There’s a photo essay when you click the link and, believe it or not, it’s safe for work. What it comes down to is this; just like that nerd that no one…

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And These Are the Smart People

There is a basic misconception about smart people. To be more accurate, there is a basic misconception concerning people who claim to be smart. That misconception is that they know what the heck they’re talking about. I have, through my work here and other places, met many smart people. Only once has someone explained to me how smart they were and that person was later proved wrong. Real smart people are like real honest people, they don’t have to tell you for you to figure it out. It is with…

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Families Go Up In Smoke

I’m in a bit of a mood today. It just seems like nothing’s going right. And yet, when I scan the articles that eventually make up this blog, I still can realize that I’m better off than many others. In a way this blog is my therapy. Instead of, like my contemporaries, slamming bourbon for breakfast and cursing God for my lot in life, I can ease into my day emboldened by the knowledge that I still have a place to live and people who tolerate me. In small doses,…

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Fun With Death

Normally there are some topics that just aren’t funny. Yet, this week, I was able to post Fun With Dog Vomit and feel no guilt. It just worked out that way. Sometimes people find humor in ways that would have eluded you otherwise. How else to explain the upcoming Canadian television special about the birth of Jesus Christ which will feature Pam Anderson as the Virgin Mary? Also, in the same special, Ted Lange, the lovable bartender from Love Boat, will play a role. I’m sure that your church will…

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You Wanna Do What?

Several of our regular readers wanted to get my take on the whole Jerry Sandusky nightmare that’s been unfolding in Pennsylvania. I did so on another blog, that you can read by clicking the pervert’s name, due to the theme of the piece. It just wasn’t a good fit here. Not that the producers or editors here would have had a problem, but it would have stuck out like a sore thumb. And, now having written that, I feel the need to cleanse my soul with something a little more…

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Edjumakashun iz Gud!

I will admit to not being the smartest person in the world. In fact I’m pretty sure I’m not even in the top 25%. That’s okay, however, since I am smart enough to realize that. So, when something comes along that I don’t understand I can seek out those who do and learn about it. That habit led directly to me getting in touch with several renowned astrophysicists, astronomers and others and those conversations led to the many articles about science that have graced Nude Hippo over the last year.…

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Bring Your Umbrella

It’s a nice morning. You want to go outside, maybe rake the lawn, prep the snow blower, tidy up around the old casa or any number of things. Maybe you just want to go to church and holler up some props to God and see your friends. Whatever it is you plan on doing, I feel it only fair to mention that you should also prepare to hide deep underground as twelve tons of toxic waste are due to plummet from on high and could kill everything within a mile…

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Some People Shouldn’t Own Stuff

A buddy of mine was having a little get together last night and invited me to drop by. I did and was enjoying myself immensely when I was introduced to a young lady who seemed a bit puzzled by my name. Finally she said “My sister reads this guy online and his name is Bill McCormick too. He even kind of looks like you in a way. Are you related?” So, being a smartass, I said “Very closely, I shave his face every morning.” To which she replied, very earnestly,…

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Veterans’ Day

Today is Veteran’s Day. A day where Americans are supposed to honor those who have served this country. I have seen many heartfelt, and moving, tributes to the vets but thought that I might do something a little different. First I’ll give you some facts about the holiday so you’ll quit screwing it up and then I’m going to share some military humor. After all, they need laughs just like everyone else. *************** Some Veterans Day Facts Regardless of the day of the week, Veterans Day is observed on November…

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Man, It’s Tough Out There

It takes all kinds to make a world. That’s what my granny used to say. She’d usually say it about the same time we’d noticed someone doing something incredibly dumb. You know, like pouring gas on the car instead of into its tank. Yes, we saw a man do that once and, yes, he was clearly hammered out of his mind. Fortunately the attendant noticed it to before the nice man could light his cigar. But sometimes, no matter how much weirdness we’ve been exposed to, there are moments when…

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