Getting Attention

Why yes, I did notice the increased stability of the new wing strut.
Welcome to Saturday. You’ve made it through another tough week and need a break from it all. I understand that, it’s why I’m here. As most of you know I tend to avoid political discussions up here since that road leads to angry emails and plaintive demands that I never procreate. It really doesn’t matter which side of the discussion I appear to be on, the other side will respond thusly. Still, when I read about the bi-partisan tax bill that is currently working its way into our wallets, I had to pause. One element of it would allow Sears to keep 50% of all state income tax paid by existing employees and 100% from new employees. That does not mean their employees get a break, no sirree doggy, what it means is that every Sears employee will now be forced to pay Sears for the privilege of working there. I kind of though that stuff was supposed to be illegal, not made part of a tax bill. I mean didn’t a lot of mob guys end up in jail for forcing guys to kick in part of their checks each week, or pay a huge fee up front, just to keep their job? Isn’t that normally considered “extortion” and not a “logical business incentive?” If I missed something please feel free to let me know.

As long as we’re talking about clueless government stuff let’s head down to Florida – where else? – where a student was suspended for having a friend.

No, I am not making this up and, no, his “friend” isn’t a rubber doll or imaginary or anything like that.

A 14-year-old Florida student who hugged his friend was suspended as a result of his middle school’s zero-tolerance no-hugging policy, myFOXorlando.com reported.

Nick Martinez said he gave a quick hug to his best friend, a female student, between classes.

The public display of affection was spotted by the principal of Palm Bay’s Southwest Middle School, 74 miles southeast of Orlando. While the principal said he believed the hug was innocent, he brought the two students to the school’s dean, who penalized them with in-school suspensions.

According to the Southwest Middle School’s student handbook, students can receive a one-day out-of-school suspension for kissing, while students caught hugging or hand-holding are penalized with a dean’s detention or suspension.

School administrators said a committee of parents approved the “no hugging” policy years ago, and there aren’t plans to change it any time soon.

The school’s strict policy stipulates that there is no difference between an unwanted hug, or sexual harassment, and a hug between friends.

Christine Davis, spokesman for Brevard County School said the school’s “focus is on learning; therefore, we cannot discriminate or make an opinion on what is an appropriate hug, what’s not an appropriate hug,” said Davis. “What you may think is appropriate, another person may view as inappropriate.”

“A lot of friends are hugging. I just happened to be the one caught doing it,” Nick said. “Honestly, I didn’t know because I didn’t think hugging was a bad thing. I didn’t know you could get suspended for it.”

Nick’s mother, Nancy Crecente, said she plans to ask the school board to change the policy.

Good luck with that Nancy. When someone admits they can’t tell the difference between a hug and unwanted sexual abuse you are not going to be talking to people who’ve ever used logic or reason before.

As long as we’re in Florida, allow me to take a minute to remind people that you shouldn’t ask a cop for directions when you’re clearly driving drunk.

It could be argued that a 52-year-old accused DUI driver with “cheap vodka” sealed his fate when he asked an Indian River County Sheriff’s Deputy about the road he was on.

It was about 1 a.m. Oct. 26 when Randy Moolenaar stopped his Mitsubishi pick-up truck near a sheriff’s deputy’s vehicle, according to a recently released sheriff’s report. The deputy at the time was conducting a traffic stop on a Chevrolet at Blue Cypress Lake Road and State Road 60. The pick-up, which had a broken tail light, initially passed the deputy, but the deputy noticed it coming back toward him.

“Is this Blue Cypress Road!” yelled the driver, later identified as Moolenaar.

Moolenaar “slurred out” he hadn’t been in the area in years and didn’t know whether he was on the correct road.

“He was told several times that the road he was on was Blue Cypress Lake (Road) and yet he kept asking if he was on Blue Cypress Lake Road,” the report states. “He repeated his slurred statement that he hadn’t been out here in 10 years and he was supposed to go fishing this morning.”

The deputy reported Moolenaar’s eyes were bloodshot and glassy. He had “very slurred and thick tongued” speech, though Moolenaar said he had a speech impediment.

“I asked him how much had he drank tonight and he said he hasn’t drank anything tonight because he just woke up,” the report states. “He was just about to go fishing.”

During field sobriety exercises, Moolenaar “fell into” the deputy twice and apparently struggled with some of the tasks.

He said his ankle/foot was broken in three places, but didn’t want to wear his “air cast” while driving, walking or fishing.

Moolenaar incorrectly recited the alphabet, arguing “he could read but didn’t know his alphabet and he only obtained a 10th grade education but didn’t recall his alphabet.”

Moolenaar eventually said he was drinking vodka. The deputy found an open container of what looked to be vodka and soda and recovered some “open cheap vodka which had been consumed more than half way.”

Arrested on a DUI charge, Moolenaar called the deputy a “hard (buttocks).”

Moolenaar, of the 8100 block of 101st Avenue in Vero Beach, also was issued a citation for open container and given a verbal warning for the broken tail light.

Ah yes, the “I only made it to my sophomore year in High School so I never got to learn the alphabet” excuse. This is also known as the “I’m going to jail” excuse.

Oh well, since we’re chatting about cops, and we were in a cursory way at least, let’s take a gander at the fun city of Boston where, on duty, cops have been getting served and protected at the local whorehouses.

I’m sorry, I mean “massage spas.”

Several local and state police officers are accused of regularly paying for sex with prostitutes at three spas in the Boston area, in an illicit enterprise that was allegedly covered up by authorities, MyFoxBoston.com reports.

When asked how many police officers were customers, a former employer of one of the spas told the station: “I couldn’t even tell you. There’s so many. If I had to ballpark it? Maybe 30.”

The employee, who worked for spa owner Terry Mussari until police last month raided her premises in Brockton, Norwood and Canton, said customers would pay for a legitimate massage and then tip employees in the private rooms for sex.

She claims she repeatedly complained to local and state authorities about police officers going to the spa for sex, but that for years the complaints were ignored.

“It was kept hush-hush because it involved police officers,” she told the station. “It’s not about what the girls did. It’s how everything was gone about, the coverup at the police stations.”

Norwood police say they investigated all complaints about the spa, and in April 2009 requested the assistance of the attorney general’s office but found no evidence of prostitution.

State Police Trooper David Lemar was suspended without pay over the accusations.

The spa employee said Lemar used to go to the spa for sex while on duty.

“He would leave his car idled out back or out front and run in while he’s on duty,” she said.

“Other troopers would come in with him that were buddies of him. In full uniform, on duty to go and get a massage. He’s supposed to be out protecting and serving and doing his job. And he’s in the other room getting sex.”

Lemar admitted to the station that he was a longtime customer of one of Mussari’s businesses, Aria Day Spa in Brockton, but denies doing anything illegal.

Mussari pleaded not guilty to a charge of deriving support from prostitution.

In response to the investigation, a police spokesman said federal, state and local police took immediate action when they could.

You know, that’s funny enough as is. Let’s move on.

By now you’re probably glancing back up at the image I posted and wondering what the heck it has to do with today’s blog. Well, quite a bit as it turns out. The nice people at Europe’s Ryanair, a boutique airline, have put out a calendar featuring their staff wearing next to nothing. And, since all the money goes to charity, no one’s complaining.

Sex sells. That’s what Ryanair have realised over the years as they launch their fourth annual ‘The Girls of Ryanair’ calendar.

The Ryanair flight attendants have stripped off their uniforms and are giving customs a little extra ‘in-flight entertainment’, all in the name of charity.

Ryanair claim that the calendar is the ‘sexiest ever’, featuring 13 cabin crew stunners in swimwear and lingerie.

Proceeds from the calendar will go to DEBRA, which provides support for patients suffering from epidermolysis bullosa (EB), a genetic skin condition, and hopes to raise around £85,000.

Ryanair’s Stephen McNamara, head of communications, said: “Ryanair’s gorgeous cabin crew are pleased to once again strip off for charity and this year they have selected DEBRA who help children born with skin so fragile they are affectionately referred to as ‘Butterfly Children’.

“We hope that the 2012 Charity Calendar will raise up to £85,000 to help DEBRA bring 50 children and their families on a once in a lifetime holiday to Malaga where they are provided with professional care and assistance by the DEBRA team to ensure an unforgettable family holiday.”

The calendar looks to bring the total raised by Ryanair’s cabin crew to £430,000 since the first calendar was published in 2008.

Would you ever strip off for a charity or a good cause? How about to fund your gap year and travelling?

The calendar costs £8.50 and can be purchased on board Ryanair flights, from DEBRA’s charity shops in Ireland and Spain, or on the Ryanair website.

Of course this is a Nude Hippo site and not one bogged down with editorial requirements. That means that leaving you happily dreaming of smoking hot stewardesses wearing next to nothing would be too easy. So, instead, allow me to take you, one more time, down to Florida, for some squirrel porn.

A Florida grandmother has been ‘bribing’ squirrels with peanuts to pose for a series of hilarious photographs.

Retired postwoman Kathy Pruyn set up the scenes by strategically placing peanuts and peanut butter on her grandchildren’s toys.

Mrs Pruyn, from Tampa, Florida, then photographed the squirrels riding a skateboard, playing a piano, and even pushing a wheelchair.

One comical shot shows a squirrel apparently ‘singing’ into a microphone while another shoots a game of pool.

She said: “I fed the squirrels after they fell out of a nest and when I released them they still came back to my garden for food.

“One day I was going through the old toys that needed throwing out and I just thought it would be funny to see the squirrels with them.

“I thought the idea of seeing what the squirrels might do with the Barbie hand-me-downs, scented with peanut butter, might be kind of interesting.

“Since they are really wild animals and live in the trees I have to hope they have a taste of hunger for peanuts or peanut butter that day.

“Sometimes they eat too fast and I can’t get the picture, other times they run off with the toy and leave it in the tree.”

Oh, okay, I’m kidding. I’m not going to make that your last memory of today’s blog.

BTW, grandma needs a human friend, don’t you think?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upWCPs5gzQ8&w=480&h=360]

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

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