Fun With Poles

No, this isn't Ashley Lobo.
If you’re like me, and there are three minor deities that pray diligently that you’re not, then you know the joys of pole dancing. Or, at least, watching pole dancing. Certainly, as everyone knows, the Nude Hippo World News Center has its own pole (for recreational purposes only) and many other companies have followed suit. It really is a morale booster on those long winter afternoons. And summer mornings and fall evenings and …. Anyway, it helps a lot. Sometimes people misunderstand the joys of the pole, like this Floridian who took a sledge hammer to a perfectly good pole because he hated paying his electric bill. Don’t look for logic, I already told you he’s a Floridian.

But, here at the World News Center we are more open minded than many prudes. For example, when told that China is leading the world in male pole dancers we wished them luck and merely took them off our vacation plans.

A 23-year-old Chinese man has carved out an unusual career – as a professional pole dancer.

Ha Tao says he has been obsessed by the activity since first seeing a woman pole dance in a pub six years ago.

“I was so attracted by her dancing that I completely forgot my friends and just stared at her the whole night,” he said.

“I thought it was something that I could do. My friends scoffed and said it was just for women but I was determined.”

However, his home town, Qingdao in eastern China’s Shandong Province, has something of a macho reputation and local dance schools refused to teach him because he was a man.

Ha started learning at home by watching videos and eventually moved away from home to Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province, where he found a dance school prepared to take him.

“During the day, I learnt the skills in the training school, while at night I danced in pubs to earn the tuition fees,” he said.

Then again, one of the reasons we took China off the list is because we are going to be too busy going to children’s lunch rooms in Swedish schools.

Pupils at a Swedish school were shocked when a dinner lady responded to complaints about the food by performing a pole dance.

Per Rostgaard Evald, principal of the school in the small town of Östhammarnear, near Uppsala, admitted school meals had not been up to scratch.

He sided with students who had complained the food was inedible – when one of the dinner ladies decided she had had enough.

“One of the canteen ladies removed her apron, unzipped her trousers, let down her hair and started moving up and down against a pole like a pole dancer,” he told local paper Upsala Nya Tidning.

The canteen staff had been trying to heat up some pancakes for hungry students, after the food on the menu was declared inedible.

I’m sure that all made perfect sense at the time. On the other hand this does put a whole spin on that Swedish Chef mania.

But, I hear the more putrid among you dismay, pole dancing is a sin. Really? I disagree. If it is why is there a pole dancing for Jesus class in Texas?

It’s all about the fitness lol

A churchgoer herself, Crystal teaches a class called Pole Fitness for Jesus for other women who attend church, MyFoxHouston.com reported.

“We do the upbeat contemporary Christian music because people have to bring their church program to get into the class, so we basically are just continuing the whole worship thing here,” she says.

Although the class doesn’t include prayer, Crystal says that the class is about fitness — not stripping.

“I don’t teach women to be strippers,” she says. ”

And Jesus wept

Why not? I like the idea. After all it wasn’t that long ago that a group of Mormons wanted to make pole dancing an Olympic event.

China would have won, but it would have beat the living hell out of watching most of the other alleged, and completely useless, sports they have.

But, is it possible to take pole dancing for Jesus too far? I would say no but the Pope disagrees with me. He recently booted a pole dancing nun and some ‘loose living’ monks from the church.

The Pope has ousted 20 ‘loose living’ monks from the Church for matters of “liturgical and financial irregularities as well as lifestyles that were probably not in keeping with that of a monk”.

“The monks’ days have been numbered since 2009, when the Vatican sacked their flamboyant abbot, Father Simone Fioraso, a former fashion designer.

Fioraso had built up a cult following among Rome’s fashionable aristocratic crowd as well as celebrity worshippers such as Madonna, who prayed at the church in 2008.

Sister Nobili - the early years

VIP guests were encouraged to stay at a hotel opened at the monastery which offered a 24-hour limousine airport service, according to La Stampa newspaper.

In 2009 Anna Nobili, a nightclub dancer who became a nun, performed her “holy dance” before an audience including Archbishop Gianfranco Ravasi, head of the Vatican’s cultural department.

For her performance Nobili, who says she uses dance as a form of prayer, lies spread-eagled in front of the altar clutching a crucifix or twists and turns as in pole-dancing routines.

Santa Croce housed relics said to include nails and splinters from the cross, thorns from Jesus’s crown, and a bone from the finger St Thomas.”

Personally, I’d attend that church if it wasn’t so far away.

Oh well, at least the Pope is sticking to the same rules he applies to everyone else. Porn Star Kim Holland was uninvited from a Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 party in Amsterdam when organizers found out what she does for a living. Because, as we all know, it’s okay to kill lots of people, just don’t ever have sex. Not now, not ever. Especially in Amsterdam. There’s no sex in Amsterdam.

Hypocrites.

Oh well, here’s hoping she gets a free Playstation or something for all the fuss. Oh, for the record, she’s a big fan of video games.

Of course, you knew that I would know something like that.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf1KaRjOg9g&w=480&h=360]

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

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