Month: October 2011

Every year people like you and I bemoan the ravages on the human intellect. It seems that screaming has become the new discourse and wild conjecture the new science. From people believing, without a shred of proof, that our president is a Kenyan native who practices Islam to the fun folks who use pocket calculators to predict the end of the world, we do seem to be surrounded by morons. But, you have to ask, is this a new thing? In many ways, no. There have been stupid people forever.…

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It is interesting to note that there is a sub sult of humans who are not only fire eaters, they are nude fire eaters (no, not safe for work or church, etc.). I guess there’s so much more chance of big fun for the whole family if you can actually scorch your privates in public. Not my cup of tea, admittedly, but I’d buy a ticket. Then again, I have a lot of body hair, things could go drastically wrong in a heartbeat. But fire eaters and their ilk almost…

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Given the economic horrors we’ve all been faced with Halloween almost seems anticlimactic. But, what the heck, I’ll give it the old school try. Let’s start with the Attack of the Giant Lego Man!!! Well, there’s not really much to report here. He didn’t attack anyone since he’s just a big statue built to look like he’s made of Legos and some fool left him on a beach in California. His motto of “No Real Than You Are” hasn’t really caught on since no one has a clue what it…

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If you want to kill a bunch of your brain cells pick up a copy of Battlefield Earth and plow through it. One of the most blatantly racist books ever written it is almost incomprehensible in many other ways as well. For example, all the “good Chinese” people are Mandarins. You remember them, those fun loving, caste system enabling, psychotic bureaucrats? Gosh, they’d be my first choice too. Oh, and then there are those thrilling Germans. Somehow, according to the book, they managed to maintain a complete history of banking…

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First off, let me introduce you to America’s newest scam. It’s fun, it’s easy and it will cause you to file bankruptcy. Here you go. You innocently go online to check out those “online colleges” you’ve heard so much about. You innocently enter your cell number to get more info. Then the calls start. I got over 60 in one week. Here’s the scam. As long as you’ve never had a student loan, or have paid your previous one off, they will sign you up, get you the loan (at…

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Today is a day of weirdness. The kind of day you just sit back and go “Really?” Because there are some things you can’t make up and, thanks to the internet, the rest you don’t have to. To give you an idea of the kind of day I’m having allow me to share a little vignette with you. I like to go to the library. It’s quiet, I can get stuff done and then check out a book or two if I want. They even have free Wi Fi for…

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I was having a hard time finding anything to write about today. Oh, I ran across the story of the big bad Obama Zombies, a/k/a Secret Service, who decided to terrorize a sweet, and very white, 78 year old grandmother at a Denny’s. After all, all she was trying to do was help her sick grandchild …… by selling $1,400,000 worth of stolen government property. But that was about it. Then I found the story of the pinhead who bet his friends he could fit in a child’s swing (you…

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Done a pure Sunday science blog in a while I have not. But yank one out of my butt I you look bored so I figured would. Since I recently read the Hominid trilogyI thought, find something related to Neanderthals to write about, would I. To my surprise I found something much. In fact, of cool I actually found something kind. Made an astounding, scientists have been reverse engineering the history of language and have, and interesting, discovery. Let them tell you all about it but it comes down to…

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I hope everyone had a happy Rapture yesterday. I know I did. Before we get to anything resembling a salient point I have to get the important stuff out of the way since I don’t want you to be distracted later. You’ll all be pleased to note that Elizabeth Olsen, the sane Olsen sister, had no problems doing the nude scenes for her new movie “Martha Marcy May Marlene.” You’re welcome. In unrelated nude news, a woman in India developed an insatiable sex drive and then died four days later.…

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Less than one week after the world was blown up by the rouge planet Niribu we are faced with Rapture. Some people, the descendants of those who read entrails and bones for omens, view various aspects of popular media mixed with distorted science to see the true date for the End of Times. One such portent, I’m sure you’ll all admit, was me getting mentioned on the Ellen Degeneres show. The bonus of that, of course, was that she used my recent FB pic so I’m naked in a bathtub,…

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