Archives for August 2011

This just in!!! A Kardashian tried to avoid the paparazzi. Well, not really. We all know that would never happen. But, one of the people stupid enough to marry into that train wreck of a family did try and beat some paparazzi up because he wanted to be left alone. He’ll be divorced before the final I DO echoes off the back wall of the imported sound system.Since he’ll soon be a trivia answer only people with less of a life than me will ever no, I won’t waste any more time on him here.

Okay, let’s move on to something slightly more scandalous. Urban Outfitters is being sued for using a hot, unfortunately underage, girl as their T-shirt model. The teen’s parents went to great length to keep her identity out of the press by calling her “Minor Child Plaintiff” in the lawsuit. Of course, what good is that for an aspiring starlet? First the story and then the real world.

The parents of a teenage fashion model have sued a photographer in federal court in Manhattan and named Urban Outfitters Inc. as one of several codefendants over a photo that they say is salacious and that was used on T-shirts sold by the Philadelphia retailer.

Neither the 16-year-old California girl nor her parents were identified in the suit, filed Thursday in U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. The plaintiffs noted that she has worked for major corporations in Paris, New York, and elsewhere, was “well-known” in the modeling industry, and was represented by two prestigious agencies.

No photos were publicly filed with the lawsuit, which seeks millions of dollars in damages.

The images were taken by professional photographer Jason Lee Parry around March 2010 as part of a magazine shoot sanctioned by the model’s parents, the suit said.

Urban Outfitters did not respond to a request for comment.

Parry, based in Los Angeles, said that he owned the photos and that his work was published 11/2 years ago with the permission of the model’s parents, and with no complaints despite the images’ having appeared widely since then.

“Because Urban Outfitters put it on a T-shirt,” Parry, 32, said Friday, “they want to sue for it.”

It was not known whether Urban – or anyone else – was still selling the shirts.

In one shot the plaintiffs labeled offensive, the model was sitting on a motorcycle with her legs spread open. The girl was 15, the suit said, yet Parry had her posed “in a blatantly salacious manner with her legs spread, without a bra, revealing portions of her breasts.”

They also accuse Parry of posing her with beer.

Parry said he did not choreograph the bike pose: “The reason she set her legs up on the motorcycle is because the pipes were hot.”

In the lawsuit, the parents said that when they and their daughter’s agent, Ford Models, saw the photo after the shoot, they did not want it published and “never wanted to see such an image again.”

Several images later made their way onto T-shirts, including some sold at Urban Outfitters stores and website, and others through Brandy & Melville, N.Y. Inc., which owns boutiques in Europe and America, the suit said. California apparel distributor Blood Is the New Black also is a defendant.

The suit accuses them of failing to ensure that selling the apparel would not infringe on anyone’s “right of publicity or privacy.”

The suit also raises issues of intellectual property rights.

The minor in question is named Hailey Clausen and her publicist wants you to know that the horribly offensive, dear God put some clothes on that poor kid (she might be naked, click to make sure), T-shirt in question can be found by clicking the link I just provided.

Also, as the photographer noted, no one complained when those shots were used for print ads. But, hey, anyone can sue and most usually do.

Oh well, let’s move on to a happier photography story. Most photographers, short of kiddie porn, will snap any pic you want as long as you’ve got the cash. So, it’s kind of refreshing to read about a woman in Pennsylvania who was supposed to take High School photos but refunded a bunch of money after finding out some of the girls made the Sopranos look like choir boys.

An Indiana County photographer has decided not to shoot senior pictures for a group of high school girls she saw bullying and harassing other students online.

“I don’t want to photograph them, I don’t want them to be a part of my business image and I don’t want them on my blog,” Jennifer McKendrick told Channel 4 Action News’ Ashlie Hardway.

McKendrick said she saw four high school seniors bullying other kids on an anonymous Facebook page that went beyond just name-calling.

“It was beyond ‘your clothes are ugly’ or ‘you don’t have any brand clothes’ or ‘you are ugly, your hair is not right.’ It was vicious. It was talking about sexuality,” McKendrick said.

She told Hardway that she was supposed to take the girls’ senior portraits.

Instead of taking their pictures, McKendrick took screen shots of the online comments and sent them to her clients’ parents, saying she saw their children’s behavior on the Internet and was canceling their sessions and refunding their $200 deposits.

“I got a couple responses that said ‘thank you for letting them know,’ that they were unaware what was going on and that they would take care of it,” said McKendrick.

McKendrick blogged about the situation and said she wouldn’t photograph anyone who behaves that way toward others.

She said the response has been overwhelmingly positive.

“I knew about it and it was going to be difficult for me to spend the time during the session to try and take these beautiful images of them knowing that they said such ugly things,” said McKendrick.

Below is an example of a letter that McKendrick sent to parents:

“I am writing to cancel your shoot scheduled _________ due to some recent events brought to my attention. After stumbling upon a Facebook page called (name removed), I witnessed mean and cruel behavior coming from _______. I am returning your depositing of $212.00 and I’m afraid will need to find another photographer for your daughters senior photos. I want to protect the image of my business and the mean and hurtful things she has said on there is not the type of client I want to represent my business. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and I hope you understand my reasons for doing so. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss this matter any further.”

No wonder the Kardashians never go to Pennsylvania.

while I’m not 100% comfortable with someone like this making moral choices, I have to admire her integrity. She didn’t say “Your rotten spawn from Hell will never be immortalized on film!”, she simply said she was unwilling to participate in any actions involving social miscreants with no future.

Yeah, after thinking about it, I’m fine with that.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

You, as an astute reader of this blog and rabid follower of its subsequent podcasts, know that Florida is where the human genome goes to die. It’s become the standing joke in this country and even funnier than the whole Texas secession plan. At some point it feels as though we’re piling on but there are some truths that we hold to be self evident and the fact that Florida is populated by very stupid people is one of them. For example, the nice man who blames the prison system for causing him to commit bigamy. Basically he claims he was too drugged for his many problems to remember he had a wife. No word on if his wife remembered that she had a husband. In fact, there’s no comment from the first wife at all since she’s invisible. Or, at least, hiding from this strange situation. One of our earlier heroes who mooned people for reasons that have never been disclosed bow has been arrested for flashing her breasts at people for reasons that defy description. Believe it or not, they did not let her shop in the local grocery with her boobs flopping in the breeze. I know, you’re as shocked as I am.

On the plus side, it turns out that Florida cops spend a lot of time on Facebook, and I’m talking epic amounts, to find a 17 year old boy who was going to bomb his school. On the plus side, nobody died.

Of course no article about Florida would be complete without a minister accused of sexual abuse being set free and given his job back.The problem is that the kids didn’t press charges in time. Because, as readers of this blog know so well, 8 year olds are so well versed in the legal system and happy to talk about being abused.

It may seem like piling on to mention to note that a convicted child molester was given access to a beach full of children and bad things happened.

Well, c’mon, who could’ve predicted that?

But, as the title for today’s blog implies, not all morons are from Florida.

In Virginia a nice group of people robbed a convenience store of lottery tickets, with the numbers registered, adn then tried to cash them in when they won.

No, I am not making this up. They were really that stupid.

A Virginia man and his alleged getaway driver were arrested Tuesday night after police say they participated in two armed robberies.

According to police, at 9:30 p.m. Thursday, 24-year-old Darien Pittman of Windsor robbed the J.B. Foodmart on Walters Highway in Carrsville. Pittman allegedly left the store with cash.

A few hours later, at 2 a.m. Friday, police say Pittman also robbed a 7-Eleven in Wakefield. The suspect got away with money, cigarettes and lottery tickets.

Diamond Tynes, 19, of Smithfield is accused of being the driver of the car used to flee the scene of both crimes.

“According to her, he didn’t tell her what he was doing,” Isle of Wight County Sheriff’s Deputy Detective J.P. Hopko told The Tidewater News. “But she saw him with a mask, gun and the lottery tickets.”

A sheriff’s office spokesperson said Pittman then tried to cash some of the lottery tickets in at a store in Windsor.
It’s not known how much the prizes were worth.

But, I would be a bad blogger if I didn’t finish this festival of feeble-mindedness with this gem from Florida. Did you know that babysitters shouldn’t toss your little darlings into the back of a pick up truck and go cruising?

A Volusia County baby sitter has been charged with child neglect after being accused of allowing an infant to ride in a baby stroller in the bed of a pickup truck.

Several people called 911 after seeing the baby in the rear of the truck.

Investigators with the Daytona Beach Police Department said Keyona Davis, 23, was baby-sitting for a friend and put the baby in the stroller in the bed of the pickup truck with her while someone else drove them.

Davis faced a judge Thursday and didn’t seem to understand that what she did was wrong. Terrance McClain, 8 months, was inside the stroller late Wednesday afternoon.

Stunned motorists called 911.

911 operator: What is the emergency?
Caller: There’s a truck going down Mason Avenue heading east with a baby stroller in the back of the truck with a baby in it.

911 operator: Where’s your emergency?
Caller: There’s a baby back in a pickup truck while it’s driving on Nova Road southbound.

One motorist stayed with the pickup as it headed south on Nova Road for several miles, finally turning onto Orange Avenue, where police picked the truck up.

“I got my first child when I was 16,” Davis said during a court appearance.

Davis explained to the court she has been baby-sitting without incident since she was a teenager and didn’t realize police would consider this endangering a child.

“It’s not like they give you a handbook or anything on how — what’s neglect and what’s not neglect,” Davis said.

The public defender argued that a charge of felony neglect was too harsh, saying the baby wasn’t harmed, but the prosecution and judge saw the incident as very disturbing.

The charge stood, but Davis was released on her own recognizance and ordered to stay away from the child involved in the incident.

Actually Skippy, there is a handbook and it’s printed in English.

So there you have it. The majority of morons live in Florida, but not all of them. As my grandpappy used to say, there is one person out of four who’s a moron. If you’re sitting at at table with three other people and can’t find it, leave. You’re it.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

Have you considered joining the millions this year to watch the annual Chicago Air & Water Show….but then the idea of fighting crowds and the August heat changes your mind? Well, I have a few options for you to try instead. I scouted out several different locations during the Air & Water Show, and discovered that you don’t have to be stuck in a huge crowd to enjoy the festivities.

First, I stopped by the main viewing location, North Avenue Beach, where millions come to watch the show. There is grandstand seating available at this location, otherwise you can make a “camp” in the sand. The best areas on the beach, however, are claimed pretty early– so you’ll have to make a day out of it to get a good spot. This location is great if you are OK with big crowds, and have planned on getting a lot of sun….otherwise, you might opt for something a little “cooler,” and perhaps an even better view.

If air conditioning is a requirement for you, then I’ve found the perfect venue to view the Chicago Air & Water Show from this year; The Willis Tower!! Not only will you be on the 103rd floor for your viewing pleasures, this height will put you higher than most of the planes in the show. Not only that, but you’ll also be enjoying the show in a nice cool atmosphere. Plus! I didn’t find the Willis Tower to be crowded at all… you can find a great spot along the window to watch the show with the family. Most people have already found their spots in the sand at North Avenue Beach, so this location is a little secret I’m letting you in on :). Oh! The planes flew RIGHT by the glass windows at the Willis Tower when I was standing in the Skydeck, definitely something you won’t experience on the ground.

Another location I scoped out for you– came with a cool breeze, no crowds, and a calm/quiet
surrounding…. this was the DuSable Harbor. It’s located in the heart of downtown Chicago at the foot of Randolph Street. If you still want to catch some rays during the show, then this location is it. I don’t own my own boat… but I called a friend and jumped on-board. Helicopters flew RIGHT over us– we felt like we were practically IN the show. Now, I will admit, this wasn’t the best location to catch all the action, but it was a nice, relaxing way to see some of it up close and personal… while still enjoying a great day out on the boat.

The air show is a free event that showcases daredevil pilots, parachute teams, and jets flying in formation, as well as a water-skiing and boat-jumping component. Because of its proximity to city beaches and skyline, the demonstrations are visible from almost everywhere along the Chicago lakefront.

So, if you want to catch a show that’s been going on since 1959…. don’t feel like there are no options when it comes to where you watch it. After-all, this is Chicago’s second most popular festival… and you don’t want to miss it!!

There are lots of things that give my Fox radio co-host, Ryan Gatenby, nightmares. There was the thought of me wearing nothing but a tutu that made his entire family enter into therapy. That wasn’t even my fault, but these things do crop up from time to time. I’m sure similar things have happened to you. Then there was the rat that has learned to use poison as a tool to kill predators and people. That one put even me off my feed for a while. Not to say I’ve been eating rats, but you get the idea.

Of course other people have different ideas of what causes nightmares. For example, rugby players in New Zealand are telling other rugby players not to have sex (so they can focus on the game) just as New Zealanders are getting ready to have bikini models on motorbikes herd sheep.

What could possibly go wrong?

The major concern seems to be whether the forced-celibate rugby players would be more interested in the bikini models or the sheep.

Yeah, I don’t want to go there either.

But one little story is guaranteed to send you searching the medicine cabinet for anything really strong that you can wash down with bourbon. It seems that 100lb rat-cousins have been showing up in Paso Robles, California and moving into their Water Treatment Plant.

You won’t believe what is lurking in the wastewater in Paso Robles. We’ve all heard of sewer rats — how about sewer capybaras?

They’re the largest rodents in the world, and one is roaming North County. They’re native to South America, and one was spotted at the Paso Robles Wastewater Treatment Plant three weeks ago.

Capybaras can reach the size of a large dog, and the Department of Fish and Game says this one is about 100 to 120 pounds.

Some describe it as a giant rat, others a giant guinea pig.

“It was just a different-looking animal than we’ve ever seen here,” said Nick Kamp, a wastewater operator, who took pictures of the capybara.

He said July 22 started out as a normal day — until he saw a capybara rise from the wastewater pond. It’s the last step in the wastewater processing plant before it dumps into the Salinas River.

“It had the body of a pig, but it had a longer nose and head to it,” Kamp said.

He said the capybara appeared calm and serene.

“He’d come up and look at us and go back down,” he said. “At times, it would swim with its head just out of the water, and other times, it would swim totally submerged.”

It locked eyes with Kamp before submerging into the wastewater.

“You could see just bubbles that were coming up to the surface where it was swimming,” he said.

Capybaras are known to be excellent swimmers, and workers here say this one seemed to know right where it was going. They say they saw it swimming around in the water before finally making its way toward the Salinas River.

But while it’s the first time the Department of Fish and Game has gotten pictures, it’s not a capybara’s first appearance on the Central Coast.

The first sighting was about three years ago five miles east of Paso Robles at the Hunter Ranch Golf Course.

The second was two years ago at a ranch about a mile from the treatment plant on North River Road. The ranch owner says the capybara chased the horse away before eating its hay; it then chased after the ranch’s labrador retriever.

The ranch owner shot at the capybara but didn’t know whether the shot hit it; the Department of Fish and Game confirmed through footprints it was indeed a capybara.

Authorities also believe it to be the same rodent over the years.

The Atascadero Zoo also used to have a few capybaras, including a pair that lived together for years.

“The capybara is not a particularly nice animal,” said Alan Baker, the zoo’s director. “They are essentially a giant rat.”

He says one day, out of nowhere, the female killed the male with her sharp teeth; she died of cancer a few years ago.

Baker says this capybara won’t be too lonely without a mate.

“They do fine by themselves,” he said. “They’re not like us, where they have this burning need to find another capybara.”

Meantime, Kamp looks for the capybara each morning, waiting for its return.

“It just made its way back out into the river, and that was it,” he said. “We haven’t seen it since.”

The rodents can live around seven to eight years; capybaras are illegal to have as pets without a special permit in
California.

Neither the Atascadero Zoo nor the Department of Fish and Game has heard anything about a capybara escape in the area.

Why are they showing up in the U.S.? Mostly because there native habitat is being turned into parking lots and nature has no compunction about moving pieces around. Just look at the wild life infesting Chicago.

No, I’m not talking about River West.

Everything from coyotes to falcons now call the Windy City home.

The good news is that capybara’s like warm weather, so they’ll only infest red states.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

Man there is a whole boatload of dumb out there today. I’m talking about the levels of seriously stupid that get normally rational people to reconsider the concept of eugenics. How stupid, you ask? Well, let’s start with today’s winner from Park Forest Illinois. He robbed his longtime friends at gun point and was stunned, STUNNED I TELL YOU, that they were able to easily identify him and have him arrested.

Or how about the wanker who went to a public lake, the kind with lots of families and normal people, and decided to fish naked? Is that dumb enough for you? I do love this quote, “He was sitting with his legs wide open, fishing pole in hand, enjoying his day. It wasn’t a pretty sight.”

Can you hear the cop? “No, sorry sir, that’s not acceptable bait.”

The thing that kills me is that there are thousands of places to fish naked all over America. There are even websites dedicated to them. Yes, you’ll see half nekkid women if you click that link. You’ll also see the nice fish they caught.

Bass is good eating.

While not on the same level of brain death, I am curious what Governor Quinn was thinking when he named August 19th Martin Sheen & Emlio Estevez Day. I mean, c’mon, couldn’t they honor some people who … I don’t know … actually lived or were born here? He’s from Ohio for crying out loud. People wonder why we keep getting flown over by the people who could spend a few mil here on their projects and I point them to stuff like this. Even the people who are from here don’t stay here. Why bother when they’re about as likely to get recognized for their work here as I am to be a centerfold in Playboy.

In the flat out weird category, an nice, 94 year old, Ohio lady missed church Sunday and may take up serious vodka drinking. I can certainly understand. How often is it that God drops a Hanger 1 Vodka Blimp on your house? Not all that often. I checked.

But the story that has me completely baffled is the story of the renegade cow that is causing a political, rhymes with split, storm in Germany. Now you have to read this all the way through to truly grasp the many levels of idiocy on display.

In fact, I think the cow’s the only sane one.

A runaway cow has captivated the attention of the media, police authorities, hunters, animal rights activists and even the Hindu community.

All eyes are on Yvonne, the six-year-old fugitive cow.

The mayhem began in May when Yvonne escaped from a farm in Muehldorf, Germany, where she was being prepared for slaughter, reports Der Spiegel.

Making a new life for herself, the cow settled into the woods, grazing the Bavarian countryside, until she jumped in front of German police cars. Authorities deemed her a traffic threat and permitted hunters to shoot her, which outraged animal rights activists, reports the Guardian.

Spurring a conflict between animal rights activists and hunters, an Austrian animal protection group jumped into the mix. Conflicting reports suggest that the group either has offered, or has already bought the cow from her original farm for 700 euros, according to The Local.

Animal rights activists have done everything they can to save her. Unsuccessful attempts include sending her best friend and her own family members into the wild. But, according to Reuters, “Yvonne only took a look at them from a distance before running away again.”

Animal activists recently even brought in a bull named Ernst to try to romance the clever animal. But, according to the Mirror, they soon discovered that the bull had been castrated, and the idea was a flop.

The Guardian reports another one of their endeavors entailed consulting an animal psychic:

Franziska Matti, an animal communication expert from Berne in Switzerland, said she had managed to contact Yvonne using telepathy. “I spoke to her yesterday and she said that she was fine but didn’t feel ready to come out of hiding,” said Matti. “She said she knew that Ernst had been waiting for her but that she was scared. She said she thought that humans would lock her up and she would no longer be free.”

The Hindu community recently issued a statement calling for German authorities to withdraw permission for hunters to shoot her, saying the decision was ill advised, according to ANI.

After grabbing headlines, MSNBC reported that a German newspaper created a Facebook page and offered a reward of over $14,000 to anyone who can capture Yvonne.

Earlier this month, a bull broke free from a slaughterhouse in New York, but was later captured. In 2006, the “Unsinkable Molly B” made headlines as a cow who leapt a slaughterhouse gate and escaped death.

In 2008, the Humane Society uncovered animal cruelty at a major beef supplier’s California slaughter plant:

In the video, workers are seen kicking cows, ramming them with the blades of a forklift, jabbing them in the eyes, applying painful electrical shocks and even torturing them with a hose and water in attempts to force sick or injured animals to walk to slaughter.

According to the Union of Concerned Scientists, over two percent of total heat-trapping emissions in the United States are due to beef production alone. Slaughtering cows produces emissions equivalent to what is emitted by 24 million cars, or 33 coal-fired power plants in a year.

The second, hell, the nanosecond someone calls an animal psychic, it’s over. The tin foil hats have won.

Really Skippy, the cow doesn’t want to come home? Was it aware that it’s slated to be prime rib? Could that be the reason? What’s really scary is that this isn’t the first, or even the fifth, example of bizarre cow news that’s made its way here.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!