We Love The South!

They're sexy but they're stupid.
They're sexy but they're stupid.
It’s a funny world we live in. Gov. Rick Perry, from Texas, is dumber than a box of rocks. Yet he leads the Republican polls to be president. Not that global warming is an exact science, but there are some things that require more than a hunch to refute. The sad thing is that he’s the sane one of the candidates.

Yeah, he just guaranteed the Democrats a victory.

So let’s take a look at his constituents.

We can start with streakers in Arkansas.

NASCAR fans got an eyeful over the weekend in Bristol, Tenn., when they spotted a man streaking across a busy parking lot near the track.

Hoof it over to Facebook to join the weird news herd.

Police said they arrested Joshua Greene, 27, from Parkersburg, W.Va., for streaking through the lot off Route 394 Saturday afternoon.

“I’m walking up through here and here he comes, back up and stops in front of the band waving and spinning in circles and stuff,” explained Tim Lee, a witness, to WCYB-TV.

Police gave chase and caught Greene in a nearby neighborhood.

The incident got even stranger when police officers found Greene’s car. In it, officers said, they discovered Greene’s girlfriend and a furry companion.

“With that we also found that he and a companion were in possession of a raccoon,” said Bristol Police Capt. Matt Austin.

Police called in the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency to take the masked animal into custody.

“They said his girlfriend rescued it from a park, but as far as where it actually came from, we couldn’t really say for sure,” Austin said.

Greene is facing charges of public intoxication, indecent exposure and possible additional charges from the wildlife agency.

Who can argue with that?

Well, how about the cops in Miami who arrested Beyonce’s sister over her inflatable banana?

Pop superstar Beyoncé’s sister has accused off-duty Miami Beach police officers of discrimination and pulling a weapon on her during a confrontation over an inflatable banana.

MBPD spokesman Juan Sanchez said the incident began when Solange Knowles was denied access to Cameo Nightclub on Washington Avenue because she was carrying the five-foot inflatable fruit.

Knowles began to complain the reasons for not being allowed access into the club were racially motivated, according to Sanchez, and off-duty officers working at the club escorted her across the street to continue the discussion.

Knowles, 25, shortly made an informal complaint to a sergeant on duty that one of the men pulled a weapon and threatened to deflate the banana.

“A police officer just pulled a weapon on me,” she posted in a nine-message Twitter rant early Sunday morning. “I have done NOTHING illegal, against the law, or anything of the sort.

“I have literally had my last leg with discriminating police! Miami police department will be notified … I am simply tired of police using arrogance, ego and authority as an offense.”

Sanchez said Monday that Knowles would be contacted by internal affairs investigators, and as such the department would have no further comment.

Knowles stated on Twitter that she was publicizing the incident to “raise awareness.”

“I could have left quietly, but I am sick and tired of this scenario being played over and over again,” she wrote. “It is time to do something about it. I am a mother raising a young black child in America. I’m going to die trying!”

You go girl!

But, as you know, if you meet any of these people in court you shouldn’t friend them on Facebook.

No, really, you shouldn’t.

A 22-year-old male juror pleaded guilty to trying to ‘friend’ the female defendant in his case, according to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. Instead of accepting his advances, the woman told her lawyer, who told the judge, who pounded the gavel.

It sounds like a case of eyes locking across a crowded courtroom, at least from the point of view of the juror. After the trial — involving a Tarrant County, Texas car wreck — recessed one day, he tried to link up with the defendant on Facebook. When she rebuffed his request, he suggested it was a case of mistaken identity, but that didn’t hold water.
According to the article, not only does Texas have jury instructions banning jurors from discussing trials on social media, this juror was given a copy of those instructions.

The juror was dismissed from the case, says the Star-Telegram, and his four counts of contempt of court landed him two days of community service in the bailiff’s office.

This isn’t the first case of would-be courtroom friendship turning to disaster on Facebook. Earlier this year, in the UK, a juror friended a defendant, who accepted. Both got slapped with contempt-of-court convictions — and up to two years in prison. By comparison, perhaps, the Texas juror got off easy.

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Well, how could anyone find fault with that?

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

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