At Play in the Fields of our Robot Overlords

Our helpful robot overlords carrying our corpses from the field of battle
Our helpful robot overlords carrying our corpses from the field of battle
I’ve been remiss as of late. While I’ve been having fun, and sharing it with you, talking about the joys of inbreeding in Florida, chatting about the idiots who commit crimes and, basically, enjoying the many foibles humanity presents, I have neglected the growing influence of our impending robot overlords. Oh, sure, I took some fun time to talk about boobs, but what good will boobs do any of us if we’re trapped in a cybernetic hive mind?

Not, much, I tell you what.

What good does a mammary or two do you when your chained in a tunnel picking radioactive waste from your hair while your fingers fall off?

Yet, there are those who seem to think a robot overlord, placed here and there, isn’t such a bad idea. They plod, naively, forward. tempting the gods of whimsy by building more and more advanced cybernetic beings who can perform tasks complex enough that they will, soon, no longer need us.

Science Daily has a heartwarming story about a cute little bot who can play soccer, discern colors and plans to overthrow FIFA by 2050.

Today FIFA, tomorrow the world! MU HU HA HA HA!!!!

Engineers built humanoid robots that can recognize objects by color by processing information from a camera mounted on the robot’s head. The robots are programmed to play soccer, with the intention of creating a team of fully autonomous humanoid robots able to compete against a championship human team by 2050. They have also designed tiny robots to mimic the communicative “waggle dance” of bees.

A world of robots may seem like something out of a movie, but it could be closer to reality than you think. Engineers have created robotic soccer players, bees and even a spider that will send chills up your spine just like the real thing.

They’re big … they’re strong … they’re fast! Your favorite big screen robots may become a reality.

Powered by a small battery on her back, humanoid robot Lola is a soccer champion.

“The idea of the robot is that it can walk, it can see things because it has a video camera on top,” Raul Rojas, Ph.D., professor of artificial intelligence at Freie University in Berlin, Germany, told Ivanhoe.

Using the camera mounted on her head, Lola recognizes objects by color. The information from the camera is then processed in this microchip, which activates different motors.

“And using this camera it can locate objects on the floor for example a red ball, go after the ball and try to score a goal,” Dr. Rojas said. A robot with a few tricks up her sleeve.

German engineers have also created a bee robot. Covered with wax so it’s not stung by others, it mimics the ‘waggle’ dance — a figure eight pattern for communicating the location of food and water.

“Later what we want to prove is that the robot can send the bees in any decided direction using the waggle dance,” Dr. Rojas said.

Robots like this could one day become high-tech surveillance tools that secretly fly and record data … and a robot you probably won’t want to see walking around anytime soon? The spider-bot

Einstein allegedly said “If the bee would disapeared from the surface of the earth then man would only have four years of life left.” I say “allegedly” because he never actually said it. Nevertheless, that doesn’t change the fact that the concept is true. If bees disappear then none of our foods will get pollinated. That means no apples, no oranges, no nanners, no mangoes, no kiwis, no flowers, nothing.

So, if robots can alter the behavior of bees then they won’t even need to fire a shot, we’ll all just die within a generation.

As far as the cute LOLA bot, mentioned above, is concerned, I can’t really work up a good rant about the subjugation of soccer. But, no matter how little soccer matters, if we let that first stone go unprotected, then we will all be covered by the avalanche of doom.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

Related posts