It’s Time to PAAAARRR-TAAAYYY!

Yes, that's me .... on the left.
Yes, that's me .... on the left.
I know, I know, it’s Monday morning and you’re barely functioning. Depending on how bad the weekend was you might be finally reading your Bible making lots of promises to Yahweh/God/Allah that involve behavior you’ve never, not even once, exhibited. Or maybe your thanking the officer for not tasing you as your lawyer tries to explain to the judge that it was all a harmless prank and, let’s be fair, the two strippers and the pony are going to be just fine and the trampoline could be replaced. On the other hand, maybe you’re like the couple in Florida who decided it would be a GREAT idea to have sex on a 30 foot high dive at a public pool. Attendants were forced to bleach the board before the public could resume its use. Of course you could be like my friend Amy Zanglin who deals with the Post-Party-Trauma Syndrome by donning a bikini and wandering beaches asking complete strangers embarrassingly personal questions.

Yes, there’s video so go ahead and click the link.

Please keep in mind that PPT is a serious disease, you can help by sending large sums of money to info@nudehippo.com. All donations will be used to study the after-effects of partying. This study is ongoing and needs your support.

On the other hand, maybe it’s not you who got out of hand. Maybe, just maybe, the party got a touch goofy without your help. Kierstan Grieshaber (which is German for “I have a greasy Kierstan”) reports on the nice young lady who invited her Facebook friends to her birthday party.

Well, that’s what she wanted to do. Instead she invited Facebook.

Better check your Facebook settings before posting a party invitation online.

A teenage girl in Germany who forgot to mark her birthday invitation as private on Facebook fled her own party when more than 1,500 guests showed up and around 100 police officers, some on horses, were needed to keep the crowd under control.

Eleven people were temporarily detained, one police officer was injured, dozens of girls wearing flip-flops cut their feet on broken glass and firefighters had to extinguish two small fires at the 16th birthday party in Hamburg, police spokesman Mirko Streiber said Sunday.

The birthday girl, identified only as Thessa, went into hiding, Streiber said, but “nonetheless the party was a hit.”

Thessa had initially only wanted to ask some friends over to her home in Hamburg-Bramfeld when she posted her invitation on Facebook, but mistakenly she published it so that everyone on Facebook could see it.

The invitation quickly went viral, and some 15,000 people confirmed online they would come to the party – without even knowing the girl, weekly paper Bild am Sonntag reported.

When Thessa’s parents found out, they made their daughter cancel the party, informed police and hired a private security service to protect their home on Friday night.

Despite public announcements in Hamburg that the party had been canceled, some 1,500 teenagers and young adults showed up on the street in front of Thessa’s home, Streiber told The Associated Press.

“We had cordoned off the house, some 100 police were on the ground, four of them on horses – but that did not keep the kids from celebrating,” Streiber said.

Some revelers held up signs asking “Where is Thessa?” others brought birthday presents and homemade cake, there was lots of alcohol and the crowd chanted again and again, “Thessa, celebrating a birthday is not a crime,” – in obvious relation to the massive police presence, Bild reported.

The police officer was injured when he tried to keep a party reveler from breaking off the Mercedes-Benz logo of his patrol car.

“It was sheer insanity but mostly peaceful,” Streiber summed up the night with a laugh.

As for Thessa – she was nowhere to be seen. Police confirmed she “was not at home that night” and Bild reported that she celebrated quietly with her grandparents at an undisclosed location.

As evidenced by this article, we know that Thessa is going to grow up to be one of those ladies who wears their hair in a tight bun, thinks that beige is a loud color and worries that there aren’t enough rules for her to follow.

We also know that she missed one heck of a party.

Just FYI, Pravda is Russian for “Truth” and Bild is German for “Picture.” None of that is relevant today, I just thought you might like to know.

Anyway, if you’re feeling lonely and need some company, pick up a couple of kegs, post an open invitation on Facebook and try to keep the pony off the trampoline. Also, don’t forget to bring a cell phone camera so you can have a nice memorial video like this.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

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