• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

World News Center

Everything you want to know about anything that's meaningful

  • News
  • Reviews
  • About
  • Contact Us
You are here: Home / No, Dude, Dat’s Nachu Cheez

No, Dude, Dat’s Nachu Cheez

May 10, 2011 by

Yet another exciting use for cheese.
Yet another exciting use for cheese.
I like a cheese. Maybe you do too. It’s a wonderful product. For example, a cheeseburger just wouldn’t be the same without it. There are lots of fun recipes you may never have thought of that make cheese fun. Cheese is also the source of numerous harmless adjectives, such as everyone’s favorite, “cheesy.” There are even some, probably very lonely, people who write poems to cheese. And, if you noticed the picture to the left, then you know that cheese wrestling is fast becoming America’s fastest growing family sport. In other words, cheese has something for everyone.

But for some people cheese is more than just a dairy byproduct. As my buddy rodco pointed out to me today, cheese will prompt some people to commit a felony. Andy Grimm at the Chicago Tribune has the official story.

What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

Stolen.

Michael Richards learned that punchline Saturday after, according to authorities, he scuffled with a 7-Eleven cashier on Chicago’s Near West Side who tried to stop him from helping himself to the nacho fixings.

Richards, 50, of the 9400 block of South Burnside Avenue, bought a bag of chips from the store, then began pumping hot cheese from the toppings bar into the open bag, authorities said. But the cashier warned him that the nacho toppings bar is for use only by customers who purchased tortilla chips served in the traditional plastic tray, according to court records.

Richards continued to add zest to his chips as he threatened the cashier, authorities said. When the cashier tried to stop him, he grabbed and twisted her arm, then fled the store in the 1300 block of Souith Halsted Street, according to court records.

The cashier called police, and Richards was arrested about two blocks away. On Sunday, after spending the night in jail, Richards stood before Cook County Judge James Brown in bond court, facing felony charges.

“So what was stolen was … the cheese?” asked the judge, casting a quizzical gaze at Assistant State’s Attorney Dan Piwowarczyk.

“The defendant was informed that it was ‘not yo’ cheese,’ ” deadpanned the prosecutor.

Brown set Richards’ bond at $10,000, though the judge did note that the sum was not a lot of cheddar for a felony charge.

“That’s very low bond for a robbery,” Brown said as Richards was escorted from the courtroom.

Seriously? This dude’s 50 years old and he assaulted a minimum wage worker so he could steal cheese?

WHY OH WHY DID WE GET RID OF THE DEATH PENALTY???

Just FYI, Michael Richards the cheese felon is not the same Michael Richards who starred in that godawful sitcom, Seinfeld. Although, considering how far he’s fallen out of the public eye since then, he might want to consider this as a career move.

But, I don’t want you to leave this column all bummed out, so here’s a music video from a Filipino band named Mottaka about kaleidoscopes and cheese.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Archives

  • October 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • November 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010

Copyright © 2023 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in