• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

World News Center

Everything you want to know about anything that's meaningful

  • News
  • Reviews
  • About
  • Contact Us
You are here: Home / It’s Your Sexy Saturday Blog!

It’s Your Sexy Saturday Blog!

April 16, 2011 by

A day of glitter and whips, gosh, the memories this brings back!
A day of glitter and whips, gosh, the memories this brings back!
Ah youth. Those halcyon days of yore when you could rip your clothes off in public and people would neither laugh nor flee in terror. I miss those days. And nights. And sunrises and sunsets and ….. never mind, you get the idea. Simply put, those days are behind me now. Even so, while the body may have faded the memories haven’t. Thus it is with a certain whimsical joy that I opened the results of my robot search engine this morning to discover that sex was the theme of the day. Somehow Florida has managed not to have another daily contestant for the world’s stupidest criminal and our impending robot overlords seem to have taken the day off too. It’s just as well, I was looking for something different to write about anyway. Like all of the apocalypses we’ve endured, you can only take so much of a good thing.

Plus Monday’s tax day so folks are going to have a lot of important stuff on their minds.

“Whoa there, Uncle Big Bad,” you whimper, “your two opening themes are sex and taxes, how are you going to tie them together?”

An excellent question, with an excellent choice of words. David Moye reports that you can now have your taxes prepared by a dominatrix.

Just in case you’re not in enough pain writing the check.

(A psychic) has managed to build a successful career providing something extra for her clients, while other tax experts find different ways to stick out in a crowded field, such as Lori A. St. Kitts, a Seattle woman who caters to clients in the sex industry.

She calls herself “Lori the Tax Domme” and for the past 11 tax seasons has helped keep adult entertainers such as phone sex workers, dominatrices and strippers from losing their pasties to the IRS.

“I fell into the specialty,” she told AOL News. “I was already operating my own small seasonal tax business with a clientele that were mainly in the arts and entertainment industry.”

After being laid off of work, St. Kitts began working as a phone sex operator and, as she became part of that industry, started answering tax and business questions.

“Before I knew it, people were e-mailing me, asking me to prepare their returns as they could not find a preparer with whom they felt comfortable or who understood the workings of the adult industry.”

St. Kitts says the main challenge for her kinky clients is tax compliance.

“Most [sex workers] want to comply and pay their taxes, but the shame and stigma that society puts on them — the same society that requests their services — makes it difficult for them to easily come out to a tax preparer,” she said. “This is precisely why I began working in this specialty. They often try to prepare their own taxes and miss valuable deductions and credits of which they well deserve.”

What kind of deductions?

Well, according to the Tax Domme, phone sex workers can deduct things like whoopee cushions, which can be used to make realistic sex noises; lollipops — especially those that spin (they soothe the throat and are good for sucking noises and throat soothing); and yogurt, which she says makes a lovely “squishy” noise.

“Of course,” she added, “it has to be proven that these items are used in the course of the business only, such as on camera, in business photos and on the phone. Therefore, it is important to only include the exact amount of, say, yogurt that was used for work.”

On the other hand, dancers and on-camera performers can deduct the cost of breast implants, but only if they meet a certain standard.

“Anything larger than 800 cc of silicone is considered a ‘working breast’ — much too large for everyday wear,” St. Kitts said. “Anything smaller would probably fall under what is referred to as the ‘housewife rule,’ as they would be everyday boobs.”

Meanwhile, dominatrices who work in cities where dungeons and torture chambers are legal businesses can deduct things such as handcuffs, whips, chains, chastity belts and their racks.

Considering her client base, you might think St. Kitts has done it all. Well, no, she hasn’t.

“I haven’t been audited yet,” she said. “However, I do prepare every return as if it were my own.”

That doesn’t mean the IRS isn’t aware of what she does and who she does it for.

“I like to speak freely about the adult business to the IRS when I attend the yearly Las Vegas IRS Forum,” she said. “It’s fun to be the voice of the [sex] industry and share their comments and concerns as well as my own.”

She always enjoys the reactions she gets from the agents.

“I do receive many tilted eyebrows accompanied by a smile and have detected a slight blush now and again,” she said.

How would you like to be the IRS agent who has to audit a dominatrix?

“You’re disallowing my handcuff and whip credits? Get down on your knees and beg for my mercies!”

Yeah, I can see that going horribly wrong terribly fast.

While talking about sex, taxes and dominatrices can get one hot, again there’s sometimes too much of a good thing. David Lohr is reporting that a man appears to have spontaneously combusted while watching porn in a San Francisco adult book store. Naturally, there’s a local minister who claims this was an act of God.

I’ve never understood that mentality. Last I checked, in God’s book of important stuff you should know, His first chapter points out that He wanted everyone to be naked and happy. It would seem to me that this poor, flaming, sod was just trying to take a step – albeit a clumsy one – in the right direction.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Archives

  • October 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • November 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010

Copyright © 2023 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in