Amish Gone Wild & Lawnmowers of Lunacy!

How do you explain to your insurance agent that your car got run over by a buggy?
How do you explain to your insurance agent that your car got run over by a buggy?
Back in the halcyon days of yore, when men were men and women were indentured servants, the world moved at a much slower pace. The most popular form of transportation was the foot. Or, to be more accurate, feet. After that came the horse. Beyond that the pickings got slim. Oh sure, there was that crazy French guy who, on my birthday in 1783, launched a sheep, a rooster and a duck into the air in a hot air balloon, but that was not widely held to be a safe mode of transportation. This was especially true since the balloon crashed a few minutes later. Although there was no official word on what happened to the sheep the mutton dinner, which featured a lovely Anatidae confit, that evening should give you some clue.

And while the majority of the world has progressed since then, there are those who cling to the past as though to do otherwise would doom us all. Sometimes that leads to unexpected consequences. For example, as Ben Muessig reports, no one expects to have their car slammed by drag racing Amish buggies.

You might call this alleged street racer a rebel without a car.

Police in Ashland, Ohio, say they have charged an Amish man with driving left of center after he clipped a motorist during a horse-and-buggy race.

Law enforcement officials say Jacob Raber was the man behind the reins when a horse carriage struck a car on Route 758 on Sunday, Fox 8 News reports.

Raber was reportedly racing another horse and buggy to a nearby church when he attempted to make a pass.

But when the horse-powered vehicle crossed the center line, it clipped an oncoming car, according to investigators.

Raber reportedly suffered scratches and cuts in the accident. His three passengers and the motorist escaped unharmed.

“State Farm, how may I direct your call?”

“My car just got run over by a crazed Amish guy in a horse and buggy.”

“BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

Yeah, you’re going to get that a lot I’d imagine.

Not to be outdone, the Hoosier state (home to the dumbest city in America) weighs in today as well. This story is so unbelievable that I’m just going to let the NBC affiliate in Indianapolis tell it for me.

A man shot by West Lafayette police after he allegedly pulled a gun after a chase on a riding lawnmower has been arrested on a preliminary charge of felony intimidation with a weapon.

The Journal & Courier reports 42-year-old Eric W. Tendam was arrested Friday at an Indianapolis hospital where he was being treated for non life-threatening injuries.

Police say Tendam’s weapon turned out to be a realistic pellet gun. The officers who shot him are on paid administrative leave while the shooting is investigated.

The newspaper says police tried to stop the man on the lawnmower after he ran a stop sign near Purdue University, nearly causing a crash. Surrounded, he allegedly stopped and pulled a gun.

Authorities said Saturday they didn’t know if he has an attorney.

Attorney? How about a shrink?

Let’s parse the logic of this moment for a second.

You’re on a riding lawnmower with a top speed of around 4 miles per hour. You’re armed with a pellet gun which, if properly handled, might scratch a window. At what point do you come to believe that your best chance of survival is getting into a low speed chase with a group of people who drive partially armored vehicles and carry 9mm semi-automatic weapons?

It’s becoming easier to understand how Indiana earned the dubious honor noted above.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

Related posts