Soup is Good Food?

The cilantro nicely accents the taste of wiper fluid.
The cilantro nicely accents the taste of wiper fluid.
You and I know what it’s like. You try and try to get decent household staff to handle your basic needs and you keep seeming to end up with cretins. Your butler refuses to butle unless you get him a sequined tux. Preferably pink silk. The maid refuses to wear the lovely French maid outfit you paid extra for and, instead, opts for sackcloth and ashes. She also seems to have forgotten how to speak English. You want to use the FabergĂ© Eggs for the annual Easter Egg hunt at the polo grounds, but your silly insurance agent is making those funny noises that sound very much like a cat with a nasty hair ball. Your gardener wants your help getting a green card, but you think that’s silly since you already have a black card. Oh well, he does such a nice job with the begonias you may have your lawyer look at the meaningless papers when you get back from sunning in Cannes.

In other words, you’re rich.

But, does that give anyone the right to give you the deadly nightshade treatment?

According to MSNBC a London nanny thought so.

A London judge on Friday jailed the ex-nanny of a British sex-shop tycoon for spiking her employer’s asparagus soup with windshield washer fluid in an attempt to get the household’s chef in trouble.

Allison Cox, 33, had pleaded guilty to one charge of administering poison to Jacqueline Gold last October “with intent to injure, aggrieve or annoy.” She was employed to look after Gold’s daughter, Scarlett, when the poisoning took place.

Prosecutors dropped two other charges of attempted poisoning with sugar and salt.

Judge Christopher Critchlow sentenced Cox to a year in jail, saying her “calculated and deceitful behavior” was a “gross breach of trust.” He also called the actions “totally bizarre.”

The plot unraveled after Gold criticized the cook about the odd-tasting food and the chef removed the broth from the trash to investigate.

The prosecution previously had said the soup did not harm Gold physically but sparked anxiety.

Gold is one of Britain’s richest women. Her chain of stores selling racy lingerie and sex toys has earned her a fortune estimated at 180 million pounds ($293 million).

A spokeswoman for Gold said she would be making no comment on the sentencing.

Jacqueline Gold seems like the kind of person who has sampled her wares more than once. You’d think with a house full of sex toys the nanny could have come up with something more imaginative.

I mean, seriously, windshield wiper fluid in soup? Cyanide in Ms. Gold’s love jelly, I’d get. At least that would show she’s been paying attention. Maybe some Cayenne pepper juice rubbed on a self pleasuring device. There are tons of choices here.

Sadly, too many people lack imagination these days.

C’mon. Please. The opening line of the article talks about a “sex shop tycoon” and you’re hitting British equivalent of 7/11 for wiper fluid?

It just seems ….. tacky.

Anyway, watch the video below to see The World News Center cleaning crew working in our secret, underground, bunker.

Yeah, my life’s just as tough as your’s.

Listen to Bill’s updates on Chicago radio, WBIG AM 1280, Thursday mornings @ 9:10 AM, with JoAnn & Ryan!

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