Cherry Flavored WTF?

Ride 'em cowboy?
Ride 'em cowboy?
When I was a kid all the little boys wanted to be cowboys. We had our cowboy hats, cowboy boots, cowboy six-guns and, if you were real cool, a cowboy vest with a star. The fact that the nearest horses were on the Merry-Go-Round at Kiddieland was irrelevant. When I was a little older and able to spend summers with my family in Prairie du Chien or Soldiers Grove (before the government moved it to its present location) I was allowed to actually ride and care for real horses. To an 8 year old boy that may have been the greatest thing in the world. Like all city kids first exposed to large animals, I made some rookie mistakes and ended up being bitten once and stomped on another time. But I knew both of those were my fault and didn’t dampen my love or appreciation of those noble steeds. However, I did learn to pay much better attention to the instructions I was given by my uncles and aunts.

Many little girls love horses too. Not just unicorns and ponies either. One need look no further than Black Beauty for a reminder of that fact. As the book shows, women take their love of horses to an almost philosophical level. No man could ever have penned the line “…. there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham….”

Suffice it to say, people like horses.

Within reason.

As Matthew Hall of AOL News reports, a New Zealand company may have taken that love a tad too far. They’ve released an energy drink made from …. ahem …. stallion semen.

The latest crazy candidate for a food fad may prove to be quite a mouthful.

Raise your glass if you fancy a shot of horse semen, a purported “delicacy” that will debut at the Wildfoods Festival in Hokitika, New Zealand, in March.

“It is sort of quirky, I suppose,” festival organizer Mike Keenan told AOL News, with Kiwi understatement.

“It is the protein of the stallion. It is going to be tastefully done.”

The shots, which will sell for $10, are pitched as being healthy energy boosters and will be available to sample as they come or in cherry, licorice or banoffee pie flavors.

“You often hear from a female perspective that semen has an awful alkaline taste, so we thought we’d better make it more user friendly,” explained horse trainer Lindsay Kerslake, whose stallions will supply the shots, according to The Australian.

“Think of it like a milkshake. … It’s all safe. We’re getting the semen in the same way breeders do, using an artificial vagina and storing it in the formula they use.”

Festival organizer Keenan joked that New Zealand’s recent international sporting success in rugby league and netball were because of athletes imbibing stallion semen.

“The Kiwi rugby league team and the New Zealand netball team found [stallion semen] is better than Viagra and has helped their performances very well,” he said.

Really?

“No — but we are saying that.”

The Wildfoods Festival has built an international reputation for challenging the taste buds of attendees.

“We had bull semen here in 2003,” said Keenan. “Deer pizzle has been offered — the penis of a deer — boiled up.

“We have huhu grubs this year, too. Depending on what wood they live in, the flavor of wood comes out in them. Some people say it is like peanut butter. You can have them barbecued or chocolate-covered.”

The March 12 festival has won several tourism industry awards and one year attracted more than 23,000 tourists to the small coastal town, regular population 3,000, located on the west coast of New Zealand’s South Island.

Keenan said he did not yet know how the recent earthquake in Christchurch would affect this year’s festival, but the event is projected to bring approximately $3 million to the local economy.

I’ve had huhu grubs and have to admit they’re tasty. I’ve actually quite a few exotic foods in my day.

That being said, THERE’S NO WAY IN FREAKING HELL YOU’RE GETTING ME TO TRY THAT!

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