You Wanna Get McMarried?

Before we rip on the Chinese for being clinically insane, we must first step back and look in our own mirror. Weddings have, throughout the centuries, been sacred moments in people’s lives wherein they vow to love, honor and cherish each other for as long as they both shall live. At least that’s the basic idea. These events have been held in pompous surroundings or simple vestibules, but the core concept of a sacrosanct ceremony has been adhered to for time immemorial.

Not so much so anymore.

One of my best friends was married by an Elvis impersonator. Another was cleaved to his buxom bride by a Ferengi. Across this glorious globe of ours people have been married wearing body paint or, if that’s too much effort, nothing at all.

You wanna be married by Storm Troopers? There’s a chapel for that. WWII reenactment with authentic Nazi uniforms? Gotcha covered. All zombies all the time? Not a problem. You need pseudo-Na Vi to make your special day? I know a place that would be honored to see you. Pretty much, if you can dream it, you can be it.

So while there may be a certain segment of the population who gets all serious about the subject of the sanctity of marriage, I think it’s safe to say that ship has sailed so we may as well enjoy the view.

Even so, I must admit to be taken mildly aback at this latest development. You can now visit your local McDonald’s in Hong Kong and be married by the staff.

Slated to begin sometime in January, the upcoming McWeddings will first appear for a test period at three major McDonald’s branches. They’ll be offered in packages starting at HK$1000 ($129), which is a major savings from the typical HK$10,000 or $1,300 price of a Hong Kong wedding.

Included with the reservation is a personalized menu, decorations, McDonald’s-themed gifts, a special apple-pie wedding cake, and a lone fry in place of the traditional cherry a couple shares prior to kissing.

It’s essentially an ultra-cheap and fun way to get married. It’s kind of like an American couple getting married in a Las Vegas casino. Similarly, there are a couple striking caveats. For one, couples who opt for a McWedding aren’t guaranteed any privacy whatsoever. Other customers who walk in to grab a bite are welcome to watch the ceremony. In addition, McDonald’s doesn’t carry any liquor or beer, so there’ll be no drinking.

This whole fiasco all started when a couple who originally met at a Hong-Kong-based McDonald’s decided to get married there. The word quickly spread, prompting couples all across the country to call into McDonald’s asking to make a reservation for their own wedding. Thus a trend was born.

It’s not the most romantic idea in the world, but it certainly is cheap. More importantly, you get a bunch of free Happy Meal toys with it. And well, there’s nothing quite (like) playing with your toys while naked at your honeymoon.

I’m not exactly sure I want to share that particular intimate moment with Mayor McCheese, but to each his own I guess.

Nevertheless, the McWedding stills seems more reverential than a bunch of fat guys getting their funk on in a church. But that could just be me.