It’s a French Thing, You Wouldn’t Understand

Yep, that's my idea of a good time.
Yep, that's my idea of a good time.
I’ve started and stopped typing today’s blog several times. I don’t know whether to open with the pithy Mark Twain quote – “A Frenchmen’s home is where another man’s wife is” – or his more scathing – “There is nothing lower than the human race…except for the French.” Or, maybe, I should toss up the famous PR release from French’s mustard; “We at the French’s Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common (with France) is that we are both yellow”.

Maybe you think I should go with a joke that shows off the country’s legendary arrogance?

Q. How many frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Yet, somehow, they all pale in comparison to reality. After all who, but the French, would think of charging someone $150.00 (USD) per night to live like a hamster? The Telegraph UK reports that that’s exactly what’s happening in Nantes.

It’s a unique concept according to its creators. A hotel in the French city of Nantes is offering the chance for people to become a hamster.

For 99 euros a night, visitors to the hotel in Nantes can feast on hamster grain, get a workout by running in a giant wheel and sleep in hay stacks in the suite called the “Hamster Villa”.

It is the latest venture from owners Frederic Tabary and Yann Falquerho, who run a company which rents out unusual venues to adventure-seekers. Both architects, the men designed the room in an 18th century building to resemble the inside of a hamster’s cage.

“The hamster in the world of children is that little cuddly animal. Often, the adults who come here have wanted or did have hamsters when they were small,” said Mr Falquerho, who was dressed as a hamster.

However, the price is soon to go up as today’s hamsters need, according to the owners, Wifi and a giant TV screen.

There’s no word on whether customers are expected to clean up their own pellets when they leave.

While I’ll be the first to admit that this is an incredibly dumb idea, and I wish nothing but bankruptcy for them, there’s a part of me that worries that this kind of thing may catch on. After all, the public bought into Lady Ga Ga, and she’s about as close to the genus rodentia as anything out there today. Some kids, not yours of course – yours are smart and wonderful, may even think that’s how she lives and wish to emulate her.

Oh well, I know I have better things to do with my money so there’s no risk of me showing up there. Ever.

On to some good news. I had previously reported that Santa had held up a bar in Rhode Island. As it turns out, the bar was actually robbed by a bartender who lied to the cops. I know a lot of parents were having a hard time explaining that to their kids so I’m pleased we were able to straighten it out. Teaching kids that there are lying scum in the world is a much easier lesson than trying to parse out why Santa’s packing heat.

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