What’s That Smoke Coming Out of Santa’s Chimney?

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas, everywhere you smoke …… What? That isn’t how the song went when you were a kid? Me neither. But, it would appear we would be wrong. People all over the world are ditching the antiquated Ho Ho Hos for the much cooler Whoa Whoa Dudes! Gone is the traditional lighting of the candles. Now families celebrate with the ritual sparking up. Forget rolling out the cookie dough. At this moment the holiday is all about rolling a fatty. You can forget the usual holiday dinner. All you’re going to get is a platter of munchies. Instead of a nice round of carols, people are now busting out Cheech and Chong’s Christmas Song.

WARNING: Strong language!

Round up the gang and prepare to enjoy the fact that The Carol of the Bells is now the Carol of the Buds. For some reason the song doesn’t start until 15 seconds in, so don’t panic, it’s not a bad link and it’s really worth the view.

Newser, in Germany, reports that a nice man was all set to celebrate the holidays in the proper, new, form when the nasty police people arrested him.

Move over, Grinch: Police in Germany have ruined Christmas for a suspect they describe as an “old hippie.” Officers raided the guy’s home after a tip-off and discovered a 7-foot marijuana plant in his living room, placed in a Christmas tree stand and decorated with strings of lights, AP reports. The 58-year-old man told police he had planned to place presents under the “tree,” which was seized along with a five-ounce stash of marijuana.

You can see how the police misinterpreted the situation and, sadly, destroyed the man’s loving gift to the season. All the guy was trying to do was make sure that Santa had a high old time when he was cruising over Düsseldorf. After all, Rudolph’s had that red nose for decades and no one’s complained. Any doctor will tell you there’s only two ways to get a nose that red, and Rudolph doesn’t strike me as rouge addict.

Then again, with all the pressure that he’s under, who could blame him for needing a nip or twelve before leading Santa’s team? Billions of kids count on him to not screw up.

But, getting back on track here, it seems that Santa heartily endorses the idea of a Green Christmas. As MSNBC reports, he even makes early deliveries to ensure everyone’s in the proper mood for the season.

“Santa” delivered some “highly” illegal presents to a home in New Haven.

Packages wrapped in Christmas paper, with ribbons, bows, and tags that said, “To Jessie, From Santa” contained about $400,000 worth of marijuana, police said.

The shipment originated in California, reports The New Haven Register, and police were waiting for it when it arrived on Townsend Avenue in New Haven on Wednesday, police said. The package contained 110 pounds of marijuana.

A 29-year-old self-employed musician told police the package was meant for him, police said.

The homeowner’s grandson was brought out in handcuffs, the Register reports. Details on charges have not been released.

Clearly some disgruntled little elf squealed on Santa. Even so, it seems appropriate when you think about it. I definitely remember my folks talking about how they planned on having a high old time every Christmas.

So, gather the kids, trim your holiday plant, and sing the next big cool Yule carol as you settle in for a Holly Jolly Christmas.