Captain America Arrested!

She likee the Boy Wonder!
Poison Ivy
So, you’re Steve Rogers – born on July 4, 1917 in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, New York City, to Irish immigrants Sarah and Joseph Rogers. Your mom and dad are both dead by the time you’re a teen. By early 1940, you’re a tall but scrawny fine arts student specializing in illustration. Disturbed by the rise of the Third Reich, you attempt to enlist, only to be rejected due to your poor shape. Heck, you’re an artist, not a fighter.

Then, along comes U.S. Army General Chester Phillips, looking for test subjects, and he offers you the chance to serve your country by taking part in a top-secret defense project — Operation: Rebirth, which seeks to develop a means of creating physically superior soldiers. You volunteer for the research and, after a rigorous selection process, are chosen as the first human test subject for the Super-Soldier serum.

After being subjected to Vita-Rays (???) and Super Soldier Serum, you come out as a 6’2″, 240 lb, avenger for justice.

So, when Spiderman gets in your face while you’re trying to score with Poison Ivy, what did folks think would happen? Détente is not your strong suit.

As reported in the Stamford Advocate, Michael Sanchez (the modern day Steve Rogers) beat the crap out of that wall crawler.

In a fistfight involving costumed superheroes, Captain America got the best of Spider-Man — then Poison Ivy jumped into the fray.

The melee of masked avengers — and one super-villain — was broken up when Stamford police arrived and arrested them over the Halloween weekend.

Police officials say officers responded to a fight in the Bell Street parking garage early Sunday morning and found a man dressed as Captain America holding a man on the ground and punching him, Assistant Police Chief Jon Fontneau said.

The fight was reported 1:33 a.m. Sunday by a parking garage employee. It began when a 25-year-old wearing a Captain America costume got into an argument that turned physical with the father of a Stamford man who turned 21 Sunday, police Lt. Elizabeth Erickson said.

Michael Sanchez, 25, of 48 Wardwell St., Stamford, Vincent DeCarlo, 21, of Westhill Circle, Stamford was charged with third-degree assault and interfering with police for a fight Saturday night during which he wore a Spider-Man costume as he fought with the father of Vincent DeCarlo, 21, of Westhill Circle, Stamford.

DeCarlo wore the Spider-Man outfit and allegedly punched Sanchez as police tried to break up the scuffle. DeCarlo’s girlfriend, Nicole Bitterli, 18, of Toms River, N.J., was dressed as Poison Ivy — a villain in Batman comics and films — and hit Sanchez during the altercation.

DeCarlo’s father — who did not wear a costume — was not charged in the incident.

Okay, that may be the most fractured use of the English language ever drafted by a commercial publication. But, it all comes down to this; Ol’ Cap took umbrage and wailed on Spidey while Poison Ivy, who came with Spidey, tried to beat up some cops and Captain America.

Bonus? Spidey brought his dad to the party.

Really? You’re a superhero and you need a chaperon? How pathetic is that?

Oh well, all’s well that ends well and each of these Superhero wannabes was taken off the streets and charged with various degrees of assault. I wonder if they’ll go to court in costume?

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