Is She Out of This World or Just Her Mind?

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Thanks to her work as a camera person on Baywatch, Kim Carlsberg has probably seen Pam Anderson topless more often than Tommy Lee. But according to her 1995 book, Beyond My Wildest Dreams: Diary of an Alien Abductee, that isn’t the only heavenly body she’s seen.

To help us skeptics see what she saw when she and others got to visit those wacky interstellar tourists who seem hell bent on kidnapping cows and playing doctor (not in the fun way), she is now releasing a coffee table book that features art from abductees entitled The Art of Close Encounters.

Before I turn this over to David Moye at AOL news, I have to ask, “Why would an intelligent species travel hundreds or thousands of light years just to give me an anal probe? Is my prostrate that interesting or is there some hidden treasure lodged in there that humans have yet to mine?”

(O)ne contributor submitted a picture depicting a room inside an alien spacecraft where Carlsberg says ETs submit humans to intense examinations.

This painting, “Making a Point,” depicts an encounter in which a hybrid shows his human parent a wall filled with aquariums, each one housing a half-human, half-ET baby. The hybrids are supposedly created to help humans move to a higher evolutionary plane.

“This picture came in at the last minute and it was unfinished, but it was one of the most important that I’ve seen in my life as an abductee,” Carlsberg told AOL News. “It basically depicts a room where aliens — who look like anorexic Pillsbury Doughboys — do things to humans that I thought would leave them dead.

“I remember being in this room, feeling paralyzed next to an ex-boyfriend who was also paralyzed and another woman who I couldn’t see, but who I knew was a makeup artist. I remember seeing the picture and thinking, ‘Finally, someone has seen what I saw.’ ”

This book was a long time coming for Carlsberg, who resides near Santa Barbara, Calif. Fifteen years, to be exact.

Fifteen years. That’s a long time to be worrying about anorexic dough boys.

I’ve seen a few of the images from the book. To be polite, while filled with nothing but drawings, this is clearly not a book about art. Most of the images wouldn’t make it to your refrigerator if your 5 year old drew them.

Instead it is about the, alleged, collective experiences of alien abductees. A subset of humanity for whom the laws of physics don’t seem to apply. Actually, the laws of logic and common sense take a pretty severe beating at their hands as well.

Carslberg goes on to detail the two primary species of aliens that seem fascinated by our naughty bits, the Reptilians and the Grays. All in all, if you need a laugh or just want something on your coffee table that is guaranteed to be a conversation starter, I guess this is the book for you.

Me? I’ll save my money for more important things. Like beer.

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