Archives for October 2010

The YouTube sensation, Cody Simpson, sat down with me to chat about his singing career, girls & what’s coming up next!

The Australian born singer/songwriter hit it big after posting his videos on YouTube. Cody says that when a producer discovered him on YouTube & contacted him, his parents were skeptical. Turns out the guy was legit & soon Simpson was signed to Atlantic Records. The young star has over 300,000 followers on Twitter & takes full advantage of social media outlets to reach out to his fans.

The House of Blues was packed with hundreds of screaming girls for Simpson’s October 30th performance in Chicago. Some drove over 6 hours just to catch a glimpse. Simpson told me that he’s enjoying all the attention from the “girls,” and is still adjusting to his sudden rise to fame. Simpson says that he often gets compared to Justin Beiber, but that they’ve met and he says that Justin is “really cool.”

Cody might just be 13 years old, but he’s also a talented swimmer, winning two gold medals at the Queensland (Australia) Swimming Championships. He’s had to shelf his love for swimming while his singer career is full speed ahead.

Check out his hit song with fellow artist, Flo Rider: iYiYi.   You can also follow him on TWITTER or check out his OFFICIAL SITE.

Click here to watch The OTHER YouTube Sensation?

If you’re an adult, at one time or another you’ve had food go bad. It’s part of the natural order of things. That, and you were never really going to make that kiwi/asparagus lasagna anyway, you were just trying to impress the hot chick in aisle four at the supermarket one day.

Trust me, I’ve been there.

George Carlin once posited that blue food bestowed immortality. He reasoned that since there is no blue food it must have been withheld from mankind by the gods since it would give it too much power. Remember that blueberries are purple and the blue fuzzy pseudo-food in the back of the fridge will kill you. I don’t care if it once was bologna.

However, today we are talking about food that eschews all forms of mold, doesn’t wither and, 144 days after its purchase, looks like it just came off the grill. Yes, the McDonald’s Happy Meal (TM) is THE FOOD THAT WILL NOT DIE!!!!!!

MU HU HA HA HA!

As Chuck Sheppard reports, N.Y. artist Sally Davies has been photographing the same Happy Meal (TM) for over 5 months and it hasn’t aged at all.

Davies bought a McDonald’s Happy Meal in April, has photographed it daily, and has noted periodically the lack even of the slightest sign of decomposition. Her dog, who circled restlessly nearby for the first two days the vittles were out, since then has ignored it. (Several bloggers, and filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, have made discoveries similar to Davies’.) Food scientists “credited” a heavy use (though likely still within FDA guidelines) of the preservative sodium propionate but also the predominance of fat and lack of moisture and nutrients — all of which contribute to merely shrinking and hardening the burger and fries. [Daily Mail (London), 10-13-10; Salon.com, 9-1-10]

Since it can’t be killed by mold or fungi, then one must wonder what happens to it when it invades your digestive system? Does it just stay in your stomach, hanging around like Davey Jones’ anchor? Does it seep into your blood system, like a creeping creature from a horror film, turning you slowly into one of the undead? Do your intestines slowly calcify until you are rendered into an immobile bit of sludge?

Whatever effect it has, one can be sure that it isn’t good.

In the future, if you want to live a long, healthy, life and stop the spread of McZombieism, do what I do. Stick to beer and pizza. The former has life giving water and nutritious grains and the latter has a cornucopia of ingredients that are good for you.

As always, I’m here to help.

You get up in the morning, get dressed for work, maybe scarf down something resembling breakfast and head out to your busy day. When you get to your office, you’re greeted by people who like and respect you. People who admire your work ethic and recommend your work to others.

In other words, all is good in your world.

But, to outsiders, you are perceived differently. Imagine having to hear “Jeez, what a freaking TV Producer that guy is!” or “Can you believe that TV Producer?” or “Who does that TV Producer think he is?”

It’s not funny now, is it?

Such is the sad fate of clowns. Barry Weintraub of AOL News has found that clowns do not like politicians being compared to them.

You can call Washington a mess. You can call it a farce. But please don’t call it a circus.

Clowns, jugglers, carnies and other performers making their living under the big top are frustrated by the state of American politics, but they say it’s unfair to compare their business to what’s going on inside the Beltway.

“If you look at the history of the American circus, you’ll find that it’s one of the most efficient and well-run industries in America,” says Keith Nelson, also known as Kinko the Clown of the Bindlestiff Family Circus, a New York City-based group that has traveled the world.

“Before you call anyone in Washington a clown, consider how hard a clown works, and that clowns make people happy. And at the very least, do no harm.”

Myron the Magnificent, another Bindlestiff performer, says a little tomfoolery is fine for the stage. “It’s great for the big top. It’s great for Las Vegas,” he says. “In Washington, I think they need to use their brains and diplomacy, to make the world a better place.”

But if Washington could learn something from the circus, it would be a very simple lesson. “Stop all the fighting,” ringmistress Stephanie Monseau says. “Don’t take yourself so seriously.”

To be sure, the United States isn’t the only place where politics is likened to a sideshow. Voters in Brazil recently cast more than 1.3 million votes for Francisco Everardo Oliveira Silva, better known as Tiririca the Clown. He received more than twice as many votes as his closest rival in the race to represent the people of Sao Paulo in the Brazilian congress.

Tiririca’s simple platform: “It can’t get any worse!” And voters clearly agreed.

Just FYI, the Kinko the Clown interviewed above is no relation to the Legendary Kinko the Clown made famous by Dr. Demento. So, in the future, if you feel the need to insult someone, please make sure that you don’t end up hurting the feelings of an innocent clown.

There used to be this show called Seinfeld. Some people liked it. I was not one of them, but they nevertheless existed. There was one episode of the show where a character named Elaine danced as though she was being tased and flogged simultaneously. I know about this episode because people kept pointing it out whenever it showed up in reruns. Later, in case I’d missed it, the advent of You Tube allowed these same folks to send it to me daily.

My sincerest hope is that each and everyone of these people has been properly spayed and neutered.

However, as it turns out, that dance wasn’t ugly enough for some people. Not by a long shot. Web sites have sprung up which will allow you to create your own Ugly Dance Avatar.

WARNING! That site’s addictive.

Even that didn’t suffice for other, more dedicated, ugly dancers. Thus was born the Ugly Dance World Cup. That’s right, people from all over gather together to see who can perform the ugliest dance moves. As reported by Reuters, this year’s winners were a group of students who called themselves Die Dezentiner from the town of Vechta.

I guess there’s not much else to do in small town Germany.

According to the Ugly Dance World Cup web site (when translated into fractured English), “They convinced with epic ugliness, horrible appearance and their signature move – the Shy Dance. Thanks to all Ugly Dancers for an unbelievable night of joy. We had the time of our lifes and hope you share our happiness.

We Say Ugly! You Say World Champion!”

If they say so.

The one good thing to come out of all this is the fact that you, no matter who you are (yes, even you Mr. Tony Lossano), are going to look better on the dance floor than any of these people. If you don’t believe me, just watch the video.

Just over 12 hours after the fact, I think I’m still a bit buzzed in a completely non-alcoholic sense from the events of early this morning at Metro.  The venue was the site of a very special (and very late) engagement with Brooklyn buzz group Sleigh Bells.  This duo has had a hell of a year highlighted by a much-talked about appearance at South By Southwest and locally at Pitchfork 2010.  It was at the latter where they headlined one of the two main stages, playing 2nd bill only to the final act of the night which was itself nothing short of the Second Coming for indie rockers: the return of Pavement.

The duo of Sleigh Bells (guitarist/producer/songwriter Derek Miller and vocalist Alexis Krauss), as is so often the case, are the victims of their own good work.  The hype surrounding them has been deafening ever since the release of their debut record ‘Treats’ in May, but judging by the gig last night, the hype is well founded.

There was an earlier show at Metro, and the club re-opened at 11:30 for this late one.  I popped in for a pint next door at Gingerman to kill some time, not to mention wait out the queue, which had not just stretched north along Clark Street, but AROUND the corner and down Racine for 1/2 a block!  In 7 1/2 years in Chicago, I’ve never seen that.  I was pleasantly surprised at that sort of a turn out of people, each of them apparently not too worried about any responsibilities just a handful of hours later in the morning.  The set time for Sleigh Bells?  1:20AM.  The number of people who wouldn’t have cared if it was 3:20?  Every single person in attendance.

The energy was already turned up several notches during the set of opening act Pictureplane, who did a noble job of keeping this eager and restless crowd occupied…but all hell broke loose once Sleigh Bells took the stage.

Their music is a face-melting bombardment of noise pop/dance beats/Phil Spectre-esque female vocals/hip hop grooves/and attitude.  What instantly drew me to ‘Treats’ is the über processed and overmodulated vocals of Krauss, as I’m a fuzzy white noise fan going all the way back to the days of Jesus & Mary Chain.  But I don’t think any member of that band has ever burned more calories on an entire tour than Sleigh Bells do in one gig.  From the first note, the crowd was electrified as if someone threw on a switch and those who had a spot right up against the stage were thoroughly squashed for the rest of the night (and seemed to love it).  From my spot above in the balcony, the crowd on the floor mixed dancing and jumping around with good old fashioned moshing.  Even the guy dressed in a banana suit who started the show toward the back was soon front and center in front of the stage getting bounced about.

Forget the fact that only two living people are on the stage..one playing guitar (Miller) and one simply bringing the energy with her vehement stage presence and vocals (Krauss).  She works it.  She flaunts it.  And nobody could get enough of it.  She even finished the show with a hefty stage dive into the crowd.  The rest:  the drums, keyboards, sequences, rhythms & beats, come from a laptop.  Now, don’t for one second pull that music-purist stance insisting that anything done with electronics on stage is ‘not really music’.  This is a PERFORMANCE.  Just ask the 1,200 people wedged into every available square inch of Metro, none of which stood still at any moment of the hot-minute (35, in all) show.  Now, could some in attendance feel ripped off with a 35-minute set?  They could, I suppose, but let’s consider the fact that they have one album to their credit, and more importantly the 2am curfew that had to be abided by.  Besides, at that hour of the night and considering their feverish tempo and energy..I’m not sure anybody in the room could have even handled any more.  It was literally like a storm that swooped in, hit hard, and was gone.  If you were there, you know what I’m talking about, and consider yourself lucky for having witnessed it.

I’m not one to often share crappy video from phones, but at least this one will give you somewhat of a glimpse of what went down last night.  PS:  Don’t watch this if you’re epileptic.

Thanks to her work as a camera person on Baywatch, Kim Carlsberg has probably seen Pam Anderson topless more often than Tommy Lee. But according to her 1995 book, Beyond My Wildest Dreams: Diary of an Alien Abductee, that isn’t the only heavenly body she’s seen.

To help us skeptics see what she saw when she and others got to visit those wacky interstellar tourists who seem hell bent on kidnapping cows and playing doctor (not in the fun way), she is now releasing a coffee table book that features art from abductees entitled The Art of Close Encounters.

Before I turn this over to David Moye at AOL news, I have to ask, “Why would an intelligent species travel hundreds or thousands of light years just to give me an anal probe? Is my prostrate that interesting or is there some hidden treasure lodged in there that humans have yet to mine?”

(O)ne contributor submitted a picture depicting a room inside an alien spacecraft where Carlsberg says ETs submit humans to intense examinations.

This painting, “Making a Point,” depicts an encounter in which a hybrid shows his human parent a wall filled with aquariums, each one housing a half-human, half-ET baby. The hybrids are supposedly created to help humans move to a higher evolutionary plane.

“This picture came in at the last minute and it was unfinished, but it was one of the most important that I’ve seen in my life as an abductee,” Carlsberg told AOL News. “It basically depicts a room where aliens — who look like anorexic Pillsbury Doughboys — do things to humans that I thought would leave them dead.

“I remember being in this room, feeling paralyzed next to an ex-boyfriend who was also paralyzed and another woman who I couldn’t see, but who I knew was a makeup artist. I remember seeing the picture and thinking, ‘Finally, someone has seen what I saw.’ ”

This book was a long time coming for Carlsberg, who resides near Santa Barbara, Calif. Fifteen years, to be exact.

Fifteen years. That’s a long time to be worrying about anorexic dough boys.

I’ve seen a few of the images from the book. To be polite, while filled with nothing but drawings, this is clearly not a book about art. Most of the images wouldn’t make it to your refrigerator if your 5 year old drew them.

Instead it is about the, alleged, collective experiences of alien abductees. A subset of humanity for whom the laws of physics don’t seem to apply. Actually, the laws of logic and common sense take a pretty severe beating at their hands as well.

Carslberg goes on to detail the two primary species of aliens that seem fascinated by our naughty bits, the Reptilians and the Grays. All in all, if you need a laugh or just want something on your coffee table that is guaranteed to be a conversation starter, I guess this is the book for you.

Me? I’ll save my money for more important things. Like beer.

To my surprise (from what I could find) the ONLY “haunted” house/trail/anything in the city limits is at the Navy Pier. This past weekend my husband and I wanted to get our scare-on, but also didn’t want to drive an hour to make that happen. A $10 cab ride is much more ideal :).

I was fully expecting the Navy Pier’s Haunted House to be completely lame b/c it’s such a tourist attraction. I have to say, we were pleasantly surprised. I used to work as an “actor” for a haunted trail back in college, so I have pretty high expectations, and it takes a lot actually scare me. That being said, the Pier’s Haunted House offered some pretty cool elements that I’ve never seen before. First, there was an extreme burst of air at our faces that was such a surprise– not only was it loud and startling, but you could also feel it. So, it really captured ALL your senses. Then, there was this crazy room that will be hard to describe…. basically you walked into these two walls made of thick fabric that were both filled with air. The two walls of fabric were so filled with air that in order to get through them you had to slip inside and basically disappear into the walls!! I couldn’t even see the group behind us, let alone my husband right in front of me. That was pretty wild.

OH! I do suggest spending the extra $10 per person to get the “VIP” access. This allowed us to be FIRST in line & we didn’t have to wait at all. If you want to stay in the city limits & are looking for a haunted house — then this might be your only option…. but I think it’s worth your money.

Enjoy & have a happy haunted Hippoween!

For more info:  The Fear Haunted House at Navy Pier

I love a good conspiracy theory as much as the next guy. Well, as long as the next guy is wearing a tinfoil hat and screaming “What’s the frequency Kenneth?” If it wasn’t for unfounded rumors and unwarranted speculation, the SyFi and History channels would be off the air. And we couldn’t have that could we?

Where would I go for my fix of Sharktopus and UFO Hunters?

Nevertheless, as many soccer fans know, the winner of the World Cup has been accurately predicted the last few times by Paul the Psychic Octopus. Since billions of dollars, or 300 Euros, cross palms in gaming parlors all over the planet for each World Cup, Paul’s been a pretty big deal.

Now, Ted Thornhill, from Metro UK, reports that, not only is Paul dead, he’s been dead for months and there’s a cover up by the German government.

The cephalopod oracle certainly made a few enemies with his uncanny knack of predicting the outcome of major football encounters.

There are some in England, Germany and Holland who wanted Paul turned into paella after he predicted defeats for them in the World Cup this year. Perhaps he ended up in the stomach of a disgruntled fan?

Or maybe he was assassinated by Iran? The Iranian leader, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, denounced the sea-based soothsayer as a symbol of decadence and decay in the West earlier this year.

‘Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values,’ he said.

Meanwhile, Jiang Xiao, the director of the imminent thriller Who Killed Paul the Octopus?, is ’60 to 70 per cent sure’ that Paul died two days before the World Cup final, which took place on July 11.

She told the Guardian: ‘We have been keeping in touch with the German aquarium ever since the beginning [of production] but it seemed to me that they were afraid.

The movie is about unveiling the inside story behind the octopus miracle, so they felt nervous.

‘For the movie, we had done quite a lot of investigation and I am 60 to 70 per cent sure that Paul died on 9 July and the Germans have been covering up his death and fooling us for a long time.’

So, has the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany been using a decoy octopus?
Xiao refused to reveal why she thought the aquarium would engage in salty subterfuge when she was pressed on the matter.

Some people wager that Paul was bumped off by a riled betting shop, fed up with punters using him to beat the odds.

It’s a theory that makes sense, but we’ve not read of any betting shops who’ve lost enough money because of Paul to take such drastic action.

Suffice to say, the aquarium is certain about Paul’s passing.

A spokeswoman said: ‘He died a simple and straightforward death.’

“Simple and straightforward?” Really? I’m just supposed to take your word on it? No autopsy? No film? No record anywhere?

What really happened is clear to all right thinking humans. Paul, threatened by the rouges’ gallery enumerated above, has gone into hiding and is living off the coast of Greece with a nice female octopus named Sally.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.