This Week’s Done

It has been a week of people just making stuff up. Some kids found a bear paw and suddenly "SCIENTISTS ARE BAFFLED" and "EVIDENCE OF BIGFOOT HAS BEEN FOUND!!" Respectively, no they weren't and no it wasn't. Additionally, a documentary was released this week to no fanfare, unless your a truly disturbed person, that purported to have proof of extraterrestrial life. The press releases showed many pics of a 6 inch tall humanoid figure. The press release also states that scientists could not classify the creature's DNA. All cool except that, in the freaking movie, Garry Nolan, director of stem cell biology at Stanford University's School of … [Read more...]

From the Minds of Children

The bigger my eyes get the bigger the bubbles get!

The mind of a child is a wonderful thing. It sees the fairies and the goblins of the world and does not dispute their existence. It can, without effort, turn a pencil into a rocket ship or a piece of lint into an angry bug. It parses the universe not into black and white but into brilliant rainbow hues with each color hiding a different source of joy. The artists among us, and I mean that to include the mathematicians who envision the heart of the universe and share their visions, retain some of those attributes help them see the unseeable. These people contribute mightily to the human condition. They buoy it in beauty and unforeseen truths. … [Read more...]

England is a Scary Freaking Place

So a prince and a horse walk into a bar ....

When people think of really crazy people doing stupiid things they tend to focus on Americans. Specifically Floridians like Jeremie Calo who got arrested for getting into a fight with a restaurant manager. This was just after he had sex on his table, with his girlfriend not the manager. Or, if they're monied people, they look to Massachusetts where a brother and sister team, Bob & Amanda Larrivee, were arrested for stealing a TV from a bathroom (the rich have too much money) but, instead, copped to the fact they were having sex. They did this because incest is far more socially acceptable to the landed gentry than theft. In other words, … [Read more...]

Oh Look, They Let Another Idiot Loose

This image has nothing to do with today's story.

Just because someone walks out with a chest full of medals does not mean they have the slightest clue what they're talking about. Some very prestigious medal wearers have, throughout history, used their position and rank to justify everything from racism to genocide. Whenever confronted by facts that prove them completely wrong they fall back on a variety of excuses. Usually, if inexplicably, national security or "you're not authorized to know" whatever it is they don't want you to know. For the last 60 years that veil of secrecy has been used concerning UFOs. Which is kind of silly if you've been playing along up here. I pulled apart the … [Read more...]

The Olympian Ideal

People are always surprised to find out that I love the Olympics. I seem more of a traditional sports kind of guy, baseball, football, etc. And I am. Those are my main loves. But once every four years the world goes bat-guano crazy over sports they know nothing about and it frees me up to sit at the other end of the bar and not be bothered. It's like a vacation from idiots. People who can't see their toes are suddenly experts on how to "stab a landing" in the vault event. People who need water wings to take a shower suddenly can tell you everything you never even cared to know about the butterfly stroke. Granted, there is a certain element of … [Read more...]

See Bill Not

See Bill not write. Not write Bill not write. See Bill not write about politics. Why Bill not write about politics? Because people who like to read about politics are clinically insane. Even the people who say nice things say them in such a way that makes Bill want to hide sharp objects and hide under his bed. See Bill write more about science. Bill may make mistakes in his research but since he vets everything before he puts it up here only the scientists know his errors. You, yes even you in the back, all benefit from the latest and most accurate information. The fact that Bill has occasionally made a NASA scientist laugh is just a bonus. … [Read more...]

Who Needs Aliens with Freaks Like These?

Today's a pretty good day to be me. Not that you'd want to do that, your family would have you committed, but if you were used to the rigors of living my life then today would not be a bad day in the great pantheon of days. Thanks to the Divine Ms. Freak I got the Christmas present I really wanted. Some would say sorely needed. Plus I scored a new gig for the new year and got to eat Chinese. Not a bad way to start a week if I do say so myself. In fact it was much better than some of the alternatives we're going to look at here today. We'll start in Florida, naturally, where a man was shot while robbing a home. What makes this story so … [Read more...]

Who Needs Facts When a Dead Guy’s Wife Tells You It’s True?

Conspiracy theorists grasp at the flimsiest pieces of flotsam to try and stay afloat. A grainy photo, even when millions of people have high quality digital cameras, is enough to prove to some that whatever it is they think is out there is truly there. A word from the guy who knew the guy who met the lady who once knew the girl who became a man after a career as a circus performer has the same veracity as first person testimony with incontrovertible evidence. The kind of stuff that would set off your BS detector in any bar suddenly ends up in the news as legitimate news because some members of the media are desperate to fill space. You kind … [Read more...]

Oh Joy, Another Conspiracy

Conspiracy theories are like apocalypse predictions for pseudo-intellectuals. They have the same veracity and invite the same level of fun. They should also be viewed with a very jaundiced eye. Way, way back on April, 22, 2011 I noted that, if you limited yourself to the verifiable facts, the UFO conspiracy falls apart in one way but makes complete sense if viewed from a different angle. Simply put; it all comes together nicely, if you realize that all of the initial reports came from a pack of liars and psychopaths, when you assume that the beginnings were a lie and the results were simply the reactions of paranoid politicians and hard line … [Read more...]

The Real UFO Conspiracy

Before I get into this mess today, there are a couple of things that need to be dealt with first. Let's start with the Ancient Aliens crowd. They believe that humanity could not have developed much beyond the wheel and fire, and they have doubts about that, without guidance from an advanced culture. To hear them tell it, and they do every freaking day on the History Channel - which should be renamed the Crackpot Theories Channel - all of the Hindu gods were really aliens and that's why they look so different. Moreover, these people claim that said aliens dropped atomic bombs in India and on Sodom and Gomorrah. Because, well - you know, … [Read more...]