Animal Stories

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Meow wow wow!

Before we begin I'd like to remind everyone that tomorrow is the last day of International Clitoris Week. If you haven't done so already go and find a clitoris and show it how much you appreciate it. There's still two weeks left in National Masturbation Month so there's no need to rush for that one. That's right, just take it slow and easy. Yeah, just like that, Jake from State Farm. Our female readers are welcome to combine the two holidays. The more creative male readers may make a game attempt as well. I think that it is holidays like this that help bring people together. They cut across all cultural lines. After all, you have everything … [Read more...]

Not Enough Violence in the World

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Why yes, I do think this will make women buy those stockings.

It's a guy thing. When parents took away our toy guns we would just point our fingers and say BANG! When the traditional family dinner became too predictable a guy invented the Salad Shooter. Because nothing says healthy eating like dodging high velocity lettuce. It's aerobics and vegetable protein all at once. And when the average American thinks of science they think of MythBusters, a show that purposely misspells its own name. And what is the specialty of MythBusters? Do they debunk UFOs or Sasquatch sightings? Of course not. They blow things up. And they blow them up real good too. And when cheerleading proved too safe smart people armed … [Read more...]

One of These Things is Not Like the Others

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Okay, what else rhymes with orange?

I realize that we live in a world that not only celebrates diversity but actually requires it to survive. So, in my day to day existence, when I note that this is different than that I usually applaud that knowledge, albeit silently so that I don't get taken to a happy place with soft walls. You would be surprised how many people will call their local constabulary when faced with someone cheering wildly to themselves. You'd be even more amazed at the lack of humor displayed by the local gendarmes when they arrive. You would think that a lack of a sense of humor was a requirement for their job. Of course, the fact that they have guns kind of … [Read more...]