Why No One Can Get a Job

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Our photocopy specialist enjoyed our interview process.

I spent some time between jobs recently. In fact it wasn't until this year that I was truly gainfully employed. Even so I did a ton of freelance and went on job interviews every week. The interviews were the worst part. One had me trot my happy butt all the way to Oakbrook (I live on the northwest side of Chicago) only to find out it was a sales job, with no salary, that required me to buy a car. Well, gosh, how could I possibly refuse? One talked effusively about my video editing skills and then I found out that the job was for a truck driver. Yeah, I can see how people could confuse the skill sets. Once I asked, three times, if the job was … [Read more...]

Pee, Poo & You

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Fear for humanity

There are a lot of things that interest you. Zookeepers who lick monkey butts make you smile. Holiday Air Sex just brightens your day. Even the most basic reference to mammaries will get me a ton of happy emails. In other words, I could just stick to what I know and no one would complain. But, you know me, I'm a rebel. So, while it is true that I once ventured into the realm of singing toilets, I have never gone as far as I am going to go today when it comes to bodily functions you shouldn't share with random strangers. And make no mistake, nothing is going to get much more random or strange than today's offering. Since people refer to the … [Read more...]

The FDA has Gone Insane

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You all know that one person who listens to the bunnies in their head before making any decision. You'll find them in supermarkets carefully perusing the Weekly World News for facts as they check their horoscope before embarking on any errand. They will often, in that cute way they have that borders on - yet misses wildly - lucidity, make declarations that will flatly contradict anything they said seconds ago. And, should you be silly enough to point that out they will immediately proclaim "so you're one of them too." In the pantheon of disturbia they call minds, everything they say is a deft syllogism and everything they think makes sense. … [Read more...]

Not Guilty!

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I hope you never have to go to court. I truly pray that you are never charged with a crime or forced to sue someone or anything like that. If you've ever seen the TV commercial where the biker, after all the evidence clearly shows his guilt, simply claims innocence and gets set free you have a pretty good idea of how the system really works. It's supposed to be about laws and truth and justice but it's just as often about whether the judge got any the night before, how prejudiced he or she is against whatever you are and so on. Justice is supposed to be blind, mute and stupid seem to be bonuses. Laws are also supposed to make sense. Just … [Read more...]