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Blue Food

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August 2, 2012 by
EAT MEEEEE!

George Carlin once posited that blue food bestowed immortality. Blueberries are actually purple and anything you find colored blue in your fridge is either artificially colored or could kill you. You can only pray it's option number one. Sure there are some blue fish, but you don't eat the blue part, you eat the mat inside. So no benefit there. I bring all this up since science has been noodling around in the playground of the Lord for a while now and is suddenly making serious advances in human longevity. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Do we want to encourage people who have sex in Wal Mart parking lots, after shoplifting the KY … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Bill McCormick, World News Center Tagged With: , , , , ,

BOOBS!

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July 3, 2012 by
People always want to see my boobs, well, here you go.

Ever since Ogg saw Ook silhouetted by the evening sun men have been slaves to boobs. It doesn't matter whose they are either; "Thanks there biker granny, you can roll those back up now." We can't help it. Men are hard wired to stare at boobs. Not only is ogling good for our heart rate (click the previous link to find out why) but boobs are fun to play with as well and everyone knows that play is the best thing for a happy soul. Even women will tell you they'd rather you play with their boobs instead of their heart since they have two of the former. However, as time progressed, "boobs" have come to take on other connotations. "He's such a … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Bill McCormick, World News Center Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Family Values Florida Style

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April 2, 2012 by
Yeah honey, this will be the perfect holiday card.

We live in a country that espouses family values. Many brandish them like clubs. And, while I might think that such usage would contradict the core idea, enough people do so these days that it seems normal. Which is what makes articles like this one so much fun. As regular readers of this blog know, Florida recently outlawed bestiality. It took them four tries and one try actually outlawed all sex between mammals until someone broke out a 4th grade biology book (from another state) and realized what mammals were. And still are. They're those hairy things that excrete milk for their young, in case you weren't sure. Their like include dolphins, … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Bill McCormick, World News Center Tagged With: , , , , ,

See Bill Not

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February 22, 2012 by
dsc01632

See Bill not write. Not write Bill not write. See Bill not write about politics. Why Bill not write about politics? Because people who like to read about politics are clinically insane. Even the people who say nice things say them in such a way that makes Bill want to hide sharp objects and hide under his bed. See Bill write more about science. Bill may make mistakes in his research but since he vets everything before he puts it up here only the scientists know his errors. You, yes even you in the back, all benefit from the latest and most accurate information. The fact that Bill has occasionally made a NASA scientist laugh is just a bonus. … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Bill McCormick, World News Center Tagged With: , , , , ,

Rip That Top Down Maudey, We’re Goin for a Spin!

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August 22, 2011 by
Go-Topless-Protest-Day-1

This weekend saw Chicago welcome its annual Air and Water Show. Our very own, Gina Ferraro even wrote an nice article about the best places to see the sights. Of course, the sights that Gina wants to see aren't necessarily the same ones I want to see. No offense to Gina, she just doesn't appreciate female breasts as much as I do. Fortunately for me, yesterday was also … [Read more...]

Filed Under: World News Center Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Good Breasts / Bad Breasts

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June 7, 2011 by
thebreastaurantlogo

I'm a big fan of female mammaries. Lots of guys are. To paraphrase the immortal Ron White, if offered the chance, we'll even look at naked, aging, biker chicks. It's easy to understand why. They very first toy a baby boy gets is a breast. He can hold it and suck it and so on. The fact that it feeds him only reinforces his love of breasts. As time goes on men learn that breasts can be the source of many pleasures so it becomes difficult not to notice them. We may be as politically correct as can be and still turn into drooling ogres at the sight of a pair of gloriously jiggling jugs. Yet, as we all learn over the years, there's a time and a … [Read more...]

Filed Under: World News Center Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Hey Mom! Can You Make Some More Cheese?

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May 3, 2011 by
undercover

Yes, I am well aware that Osama bin Laden is dead. It's my sincere hope that when he gets his 70 virgins and that everyone of them is an overweight drag queen with open mouth sores. Ask Bill Clinton, that ain't sex so they should still be virgins. But better journalists than me, and quite a few lesser ones as well, are already covering that story. There's not much I could add. Besides, you don't come here for insightful commentary on meaningful events. No, you come here for the boobs. Also Florida and the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: World News Center Tagged With: , , , ,

Are Women Really This Dumb?

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December 14, 2010 by
large-breasts

Last weekend, at the Nude Hippo Holiday photo shoot, Gina Ferraro and I were joking about an old Larry the Cable Guy bit where he talks about having worked at a Carnival. His particular talent was charging women a dollar to guess their age by feeling their breasts. If he guessed wrong he'd give them a 2ยข key chain. He went through over 100 key chains a day that way. Every male, and 10% of the females, reading this blog just wished they'd thought of it. Well, in Larry's defense, it's really hard to do. Gina got 3 key chains off of me before I got it right. But imagine for a second you're a woman, that's very hard for me to do but I'm … [Read more...]

Filed Under: World News Center Tagged With: , , , , , ,